The Devil and the Queen
by keroberus
Summary: An ancient evil bent on overthrowing the Will of Tentei captures Youko and tries to tempt her to join this cause. Youko discovers her true feelings towards the throne and Keiki and is the first to be given a choice...finally COMPLETED!
1. Prologue: The Dungeon

**Prologue**

"What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass."

--William Lamb, 2nd Viscount of Melbourne (1779-1848)

* * *

He couldn't stand it. Lord Shoukou, now demoted and confined in the bowels of the basement of the castle, otherwise known as the dungeon clutched the straw that filled his bed mat and squeezed. Anyone next to him might have noticed the single drop of blood that spilled over the top of his fist.

The Queen's First Decree was to abolish the practice of prostration. How ridiculous. If people are not ruled by fear then they will start having minds of their own and start to think the kingdom was _theirs_. Were the gods blind to let her be queen?

It wasn't fair. The Will of the Heavens, or Tentei, did not exist. If it did, The Queen would have struck him down on the steps of his palace. To leave him alive was a grave mistake for the young monarch. To show him mercy was unacceptable to the people he tyrranized, and unbearable to even himself for the atrocities he committed. To behead him as was his just due, was to fall in line with the 'laws' that govern their world. How silly that a monarch should be chosen by a holy animal, the _kirin_; part horse, part deer and all benevolence, it was all bullshit. Lord Shoukou knew it was a mistake to let Seikishi rule. He would topple the Heavens themselves to make everyone see it. What should have been his, what could have been his, and in his mind's eye, what was his due, was abruptly taken by an upstart red-headded girl. He would sell his soul to the devil to take the throne. His throne.

The Queen had not yet sentenced him. He still had time. Lord Shoukou thoughtfully twisted the ancient ring around his forefinger, around and around. The bood red jewel glimmered in the dungeon's torchlight. What did he have to fear now? If the gods were against him, he would perish. If the Queen was to show her power to her newfound people, he would die. The way before him was only death, as it ever had been since he started his war on Heaven. If the devil wanted his soul, why not?

He whispered the ancient incantation, barely audible to anyone guarding him. The blood red ruby began to glow faintly at first, and then shined. It felt hot, scorching a mark on his finger light the flame of a tiny star. He hissed at the pain. Then he heard it. The family whisper like the voice of a serpent with a forked tongue. A voice he had heard once before, when he first found the ring in a little box among his family's many treasured possessions.

_Does thou seekest the assistance of my Master?_ it hissed.

"Yes," replied Shoukou.

_And what dost thou offer for my Master's aid?_

"My soul, and the souls of thousands once I am on the throne." Lord Shoukou's gaze darkened in a cruel scowl. He dared defy the Heavens once. He would dare it again and again as long as he was alive.


	2. Chapter One: Peaceful Days

Opening Comments: I do not own any part of Twelve Kingdoms, its concepts or its characters, as created by Fuyumi Ono-san, or l

Opening Comments: I do not own any part of Twelve Kingdoms, its concepts or its characters, as created by Fuyumi Ono-san, or licensed to Media Blasters and Tokyopop publishing in the US. The story and ideas expressed in this fanfic are not endorsed by the licensees.

--Kero. 12/26/06

* * *

**Chapter One: Peaceful Days**

"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."

--John Churton Collins (1848-1908)

Youko watched her reflection on the smooth surface of the water, reflecting the colors of her crimson hair and the autumn leaves of the trees around her, colors now mingling in the ripples on the surface as a breeze started to blow. A single maple leaf glided down gently, floating, falling gracefully until finally it met with the pond's surface and broke up the illusion of the other her; the other crimson-haired queen beneath the water. The koi fish of the quaint watery realm that was one of many ponds in Youko's palace gardens. This garden happened to overlook the "sea" that existed above the clouds. She never did quite figure out why there was an ocean in the sky, but then again, there were a lot of things she did not question in this world, despite being the newly uprooted high school girl replanted as the queen of Kei, or as everyone called her, "Seikishi," the red-haired child. She perched herself in a very unlady-like fashion on the side banister of the walk way, leaning up against the large red pillar that held up the tiled roof of the quarters of the Ministry of the Queen's Household.

The Minister of Household post was a newly created position. The post was held by Suzu, her friend and one of three Sankeishi, personal advisors to the Queen who are not directly involved in the political decisions of the day, but have the ear of the monarch, much like her other unofficial political ministers, the _sanshi_. Suzu had originally offered to serve the Queen as a housemaid, since her life began and continued in this world as a servant for some hundred and sixteen years (she had actually lost count) but Youko valued her far too much. She was the eyes and ears of the queen's castle, as all servants reported to her—from the stableboy to the head doctors. Among the household, Youko allowed Suzu to infiltrate a handful of spies who doubled as chamber maids, assistant cooks, and groundskeepers. These servants were everywhere; listening, watching, taking notes on everything her Ministers did. The best part of all was that this was unknown to her Ministers. They had thought Suzu, a friend of the Queen, had nowhere else to go and that their monarch had merely created a 'title' for her to allow her to stay in the castle. On the outside, Suzu gave the official stamp on how many servants each official, minister and courtier had. She also decided what to do when a servant needed to take leave, or resigned and who would replace them. All of Suzu's other "meetings" were held outside the knowledge of the ministers.

The Queen's warm bright green gaze looked up at her two friends, their stares reflecting their awe of the story she had just told them. It wasn't anything special, just a movie she had seen in the theater when she still lived in Japan. The story was about two lovers, caught up in the political struggles of ancient China, a backdrop Youko knew Suzu and Shokei would appreciate another world that closely resembled the Twelve Kingdoms. She knew the tales of spies and double crosses greatly appealed to her courtier, Shokei, who was once the daughter of the king of Hou and was well versed in the ways of intrigue. Once a princess and schooled in the ways of court, Shoukei was Youko's political observer, a beautiful, often giggling young woman who was sharp as a tack and hid her sly smiles behind a coy hand or fan. Shokei's intuition was hardly ever wrong, and she could decipher the plots behind the subplots of what Youko's Ministers were planning. Those remaining in her Ministry, after the Wa Province Rebellion, were obedient but the queen did not trust them because she had yet to know them personally. Shoukei was like an internal thermometer in that respect.

She and Suzu were also members of the Brotherhood; a secret society of do-gooders who lived and died by the code "justice for all" in the Queen's kingdom, and who kept watch on local officials and politicians as it was often difficult for the Queen to go outside of the palace and observe her people herself. Suzu and Shokei helped her tap into the pulse of her people. These two were among those whom she surrounded herself with constantly, whom she absolutely trusted without question or hesitation.

"Wow, that was such a beautiful and romantic story!" exclaimed Suzu in a very girlish manner. Youko marveled at how her friend's personality had not changed much since the Meiji Era even with immortality. "But did the two lovers have to die at the end?"

"Suzu, the story is more beautiful _because_ they died at the end," sighed Shokei with feigned exasperation. The beautiful former princess rolled her eyes as if it were a fine art. Once a heartless little immortal doll of thirteen for over thirty years, her years spent living as a mere mortal had helped her discover wisdom while in exile. But as Queen's advisor, Youko re-enrolled Shokei's name in the book of the Seinin, the immortals. All royal ministers, servants and advisors of all twelve royal houses were immortals, as allowed by the laws of Tentei, or the Heavens.

"But still," protested Suzu. Youko laughed with her two friends. Here, without the politics of the throne room, and with no one watching, they were simply three girls. Youko smiled at her two companions and tried to engrave the beautiful scenery and the patterns of her friends' Han Dynasty-like silks in her memory. This was a scene she would need to refer to in the tiring days ahead. The momentary and quaint, blissful existence was then interrupted by a familiar, stoic figure stepping out from the shadows.

He cut a tall, lean figure with flowing blonde hair that almost looked white in the sun. He was a holy being that still struck awe in both of her friends. Her _kirin_, Keiki, who always dressed in formal black and rarely ever smiled had a hint of amusement playing at the corner of his lips when he came across the three.

"Your Majesty, you should retire to you dressing room. The Feast of the Harvest Moon is going to start in five hours. You need time to get ready," he said in his calm, uninspired voice. For a moment Youko looked at her "other half." Being his queen meant being bound to him; he was her conscience and her moral advisor. She often skipped over the profoundness of their sharing the same life line and sometimes simply wanted to wrap him in a sheet and stuff him in a box. He often had the knack of killing her good moods.

Though Keiki was sometimes a pest, and often told her what she 'should' be doing, or what she 'could' be doing, she did _like_ him at least. She very rarely ever admitted this, and even then only grudgingly. He was counted among her advisors she trusted the most. Despite his unfeeling exterior he was very kind, compassionate, forgiving and cared greatly for her well being—not because she was his queen but because they were also friends. For his part, he was loyal to her unto death, but still wished she would be less rash sometimes and listened to him more—like when he told her to get ready for an important event.

Youko, his stubborn queen, yawned and hopped off the railing.

"Yes, yes." said Youko dismissively with a flick of her wrist. Keiki turned to leave for his quarters where a small army of servants waited to get him dressed into his ceremonial garb picked out for that night.

"And don't be late," he admonished as he was walking away.

"When have I ever been late for anything you tell me to go to?" asked Youko feigning offense.

"You are the Queen of Many Firsts. I would not be surprised," he rebuked calmly as he continued down the hall. To Shokei's dismay and Suzu's amusement the queen stuck her tongue out at her _kirin_.

"Despite the fact that I do not have eyes in the back of my head, I want to remind you that it is impolite to stick out your tongue at people," he said before he turned the corner.

Youko sighed. "I hate it when his shirei tattle."

"He is the holy embodiment of Tentei's Will, Your Majesty, and your other half." smiled Suzu. "You two are really like two versions of the same person."

"Really, Youko, you should never be seen doing such indignant displays. Especially in front of the Ministers," admonished Shoukei. "You're a queen and he is your kirin. You are more like gods than humans. With that--," started her friend.

"_Comes an image and responsibility you must uphold_," finished Youko mockingly, imitating one of many speeches her kirin and Shoukei loved to repeat again and again. "Not you too," groaned the queen. "Just a few years ago I was a high school student attending the prestigious private school, Jinan Academy. My main worries were what was going to be on the next pop quiz and blindly trying to fulfill everyone's expectations of me as class president. This queen stuff is on a whole other level."

Youko paused and looked back twoards the sea. The setting sun was just going over the horizon and the glowing red sky was fading into the velvet blue blanket of dusk. Somehow she felt that with each setting sun, another part of her, the one who was born and raised in Japan, was disappearing into the darkness.

"Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I'm going to be in say, ten or twenty years. If I had the five hundred years that has passed over the King of En and Enki, I wonder how much of the original me would be left," sighed Youko.

"Youko-chan," smiled Suzu. "What you are becoming, what you are evolving into, that is the real you. There will be continuous variations of the brave, feisty, strong-willed ruler with the flaming hair. You will become wiser as time goes on. But you will always remain Youko."

"If you didn't wise up and evolve and continued to be a confused, timid queen, we'd really be in trouble," laughed Shokei. "Come on," she said as she took the queen's hand. Only these two dared to be so familiar with Her Majesty and Youko was grateful for it. "If I don't drag you there, you're just going to linger here."

"Okay, okay. I'll go. You two need to get ready as well. So, I guess I'll see you in…_four_ _hours_ or so?" laughed Youko, only half-joking. "Honestly, I don't know why I can't just go like this; the official royal ensembles are so heavy," said the Queen as she cringed to think about how many starchy layers were about to assault her skin. "There ought to be a law. Maybe that will be my second proclamation…"

Her common clothes made her feel normal and often put those around her at ease. Although her Ministers and even Shoukei really disapproved of her traveling outside of the palace in disguise, and worse, having people recognize her while dressed in peasant's clothing, Youko couldn't care less. Youko was a very 'hands on' type of queen and did not mind getting dirty in order to understand her people better. She still wanted to get to know them from the inside out, and her participation in the Wa Province rebellion had taught her many things. Perhaps this was why she was admired the King of En especially. He often disguised himself as a traveler in order to ascertain the local rumor and gossip—and to woo beautiful women who in turn spurn him, much to his ministers' chagrin.

On a daily basis she was often indoors, studying about her kingdom, if not learning from the lectures of the Taishi--her old teacher Enho, then from those of her friend Rakushun, her soon to be Minister of History when he graduates from the Daigaku of Kei. Rakushun, though part mouse, was one of her most trusted advisors but as his final exams drew near he could not find more time to be with her.

The constant learning process, the high learning curve, the ceremonies and formalities of being a queen sometimes bothered her. Youko had only been Queen officially for a brief period compared to other established rulers—by all accounts, still a newcomer learning her first steps. She did it all nonetheless without complaint, but often wondered about a life without responsibility or restraint.

A row of servants bowed low from the waist as she entered her living quarters. Of all the thirty-two houses that were designated as only the monarch's she preferred the smallest one with a small garden and little waterfall for a view. A large indoor pool inset on the marble floors was already filled with bathwater for her, with rose petals coating the surface and fragrant oils poured in. To the side was the doorway to a smaller chamber with a large window. It was almost empty but for a cushioned bench, a few floor pillows, a zither and an easel with a stool. This was a place where no one was allowed, and she never invited her friends or Keiki here.

Youko took a quick glance at her latest work as she passed. In the dimming light of sunset she could make out the small figure of a girl in a school uniform, standing on a cliff that overlooked the vast countryside that was her kingdom. The girl's back was turned but the observer could not help but feel her loneliness. To be a queen was to be alone. Not only was she not exactly human anymore, but now she was also deprived of basic human comforts in exchange for a life of celibacy. Youko was part goddess, part priestess, part warrior queen and autonomous ruler of Kei…and only a very, very small part _girl_.

This was the life she had chosen to accept because the people needed her. Without the queen, the land would be riddled with youman, or demons and monsters, and the people would suffer natural disasters, one after another. This was the will of Tentei. This was the Order of all things. If Youko lived and governed appropriately, her immortality would guarantee the success of her kingdom and her people. If she failed, was killed or allowed her kirin to be killed or died horribly by the curse of an unworthy ruler, the _shitsudou_, then her kingdom would crumble all the way back to square one. A handful of years ago, before she had ascended the throne, Kei was very unlivable. But now the balance was returning, youma were nearly diminished and driven back beyond Kei's borders. Her refugees had mostly returned to the land that was now visibly greener.

Youko steadily submerged herself into her scented oil bath, carefully descending the stairs into the comfortably steaming water until she sat down on the bottom step and felt the water wash over her shoulders; the shoulders that carried the weight of the kingdom and every soul dwelling within it. The support of her trusted advisors and friends in adversity alleviated the burden, but often she felt it in full force whenever she was alone, in peaceful times. She let out a slow, tired sigh as eternity stretched out before her.

* * *

Comments:

Juuni Kokki was my Christmas present to myself. I had rented the first few disks a few months ago and couldn't get enough of it. I realize there's a lot of terminology that even the sturdiest Juuni Kokki fans may not be familiar with. There's just a lot of terminology in this anime. I spent a few days of my holidays just researching this world! (I felt like Youko for a second there.) I actually watched the first part of the series a second time, armed with pen and note pad. I had to stop recently because my friend begged me to lend my collection to her and she hasn't given it back yet…! _Ah, mou_! Most of my world references come directly from the anime, not the book. Please don't take my interpretations too literally…

But I tried to make it easy for even those who haven't seen the anime to follow along. Are there any Twelve Kingdoms fans out there still, I wonder? Hello? (Kero listens to the echo that resounds across the bandwidth and hears crickets...)

--Kero (1/2/07)


	3. Chapter Two: Standing on Ceremony

Author's Note: I do appreciate all of the constructive criticism! And they were barely flaming! (Kero pats down smoke from a singed sleeve) Thanks so much for taking the time to R&R. Please note that my 12k Universe is generally based on the anime, and not the novels; although, I will try to stay true to the novels' overall themes as well.

-Kero (1/8/06)

* * *

**Chapter Two: Standing on Ceremony**

"To teach is to learn twice."

--Joseph Joubert (1754-1824)

Youko traced a finger along the rim of her porcelain cup thoughtfully, sitting silently for her servants to dress her. The seamstresses had stitched in endless patterns her royal emblem onto the darkest ceremonial black silk for the occasion. As a set of hands continued to fix the silk hem and sleeves of her robes and another set of hands fastened the clasp at her neck for the outer layer embroidered in gold thread, Youko wondered if Keiki even noticed that she wasn't paying attention to any of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"…and furthermore," he continued on in his usual, unemotional tone, "after the bonfire is lit the traditional dance will begin…." He stood in his formal robes, equally as majestic and godlike as hers. The dark fabric was drastically offset by his pale complexion. Youko watched her companion through her dressing mirror as the moonlight played with the flaxen gold color of his long hair. Keiki was a truly magnificent creature when transformed as a _kirin_, but as a man he looked very other-worldly, as if his color reflected how aloof and sheltered he really was to everything.

"You will be seated on the dais when the announcements are made, but once the fire is lit, you will stand and present the basket of assorted wheat, oats, fruits and rice in offering. This symbolizes your tribute to Tentei, the Will of Heaven that has allowed you to be chosen as Kei's Queen, and you will bow your head in blessing for an even greater harvest next year…." he continued, heedless that in her mind she was setting aside all of the words that were coming at her as unwanted thoughts.

The prior queen had fallen in love with the handsome and serious Keiki, whose gentle voice was never really stern, even when it was admonishing, and whose smile was more rare than the beautiful blue crystals that grew in the Kingdom of Shun. This was never far from Youko's mind whenever she watched her kirin.

"You will take your sword, _Suiguu_, the most treasured heirloom of all of Kei's monarchs, and you will come down the dais steps and offer it up to the fire..." Youko would never forget the moment when Keiki offered the sword to her. The tall stranger had sworn his fealty to her on the cold linoleum floor of her classroom, and offered up his allegiance of unquestioning loyalty to her throne in front of the chalkboard. That was the first time any man, albeit Keiki was more godly creature than man, had sworn such noble oaths to her. She admitted that his sincerity did move her, despite the fact that she had no idea what he was talking about. Her feelings towards Keiki had warmed considerably since then, but she rarely took any time to think of _him_ particularly since he always kept her constantly occupied with tasks both great and mundane.

In truth, she could not at first understand why You-Ou had fallen in love with him, above all others. But, beneath the blunt and sometimes inscrutable exterior was the heart of a loyal, kind being who strove to be more empathetic towards his master, which is something Youko tried never to forget.

"…But most of all, you must remember to bow as the blessing is given…" Sometimes he was painfully aware of his lack of a sense of humor, and he was almost child-like in his need to understand human behavior. Keiki had lived long in the place of his birth as a kirin before descending to select You-Ou as ruler. His stay on the mountain of the gods, Mt. Hou, was lengthy and his contact with humans and making friends was limited. Youko intuitively knew that he had high hopes for the previous queen, that he had wanted her to succeed and her kingdom to succeed, despite the fact he had brought such misery to that simple daughter of a merchant. Alas, it was not to be.

Nowadays, Youko felt that his often stony exterior and his pointed criticisms were created just for her, to have Youko succeed where her predecessor Jyoukaku had failed.

He was a steady taskmaster and a strict teacher. Youko knew that he was not the correct source from which to requisition hugs, praise or words of encouragement. _Still_, thought Youko to herself as her kirin droned on, _a kind word from you a little more often, Keiki, wouldn't hurt._

She let out a great sigh, and despite the fact that several people were in the room with her, Youko couldn't shake the feeling of being alone.

"Are you listening to a word I'm saying, _Shu-jou_?" asked Keiki. She looked at him and pursed her lips.

"Do you want a coated response or the truth?" she asked innocently. Despite his placid expression, his silence screamed with exasperation. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Keiki, you need to relax. It will be fine. I know what I'm doing. And if I don't, I'll just pretend that I know what I'm doing. I'm the Queen of Many Firsts, remember? I'm the fiery Red-Haired Child. I'm the Rebel Queen. I'll just make it up as I go along—" she chuckled and then looked at Keiki's disapproving face.

"—without ruining hundreds of years of tradition, okay? Just point to where I need to stand and cough when I'm not doing it right." She stood up and with a wave of her hand, she dismissed all the servants and lifted a long, trailing sleeve to pour a cup of tea.

"Your expectations of me, Keiki…sometimes I wonder if I'll ever meet them," she said partially aloud and partially to herself. The lack of response made her wonder if he had heard her. The queen rarely confided her feelings in Keiki and half of her hoped he did not hear.

She stole a quick glance at him, partially grimacing as she expected to hear another lecture, but it did not come. Instead, he was walked over to her with a very intense, inscrutable look on his face.

"Your faults are my faults, Your Majesty. I should have taken more time to teach the fundamentals of tonight's ceremonies…" his voice trailed. She realized that he didn't want her to look bad tonight, especially in front of the Ministers as they were watching her every move ever since her upheaval of the ranks and hierarchy in the royal court after the Wa Province Rebellion. She needed the support of her Ministers most of all as they helped her govern the country. Keiki just wanted to reinforce her legitimacy whenever he could. Despite his eagerness to be a perfect kirin, Youko regretted that she rarely praised him. Did he seek her approval as well? Kirin really were such innocent beings.

She placed a hand swathed in long silken sleeves on his shoulder. "We'll make it, somehow, Keiki. We've battled tougher things than ceremonial niceties."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Youko frowned. "Can't you call me Youko, like the others?"

"That would be too informal, Your Majesty," he insisted. Youko rolled her eyes.

"Someday, I hope we can openly regard one another as friends, rather than as monarch and kirin," she sighed.

"As you wish, Your Majesty." Youko stifled a laugh. _Of all the kirin to inherit, I had to get the most serious one._

"Let's go then, my faithful kirin. We don't want to keep the masses waiting."

000

Kimpa Palace opened the gates of its outer walls on rare occasions, and even rarer still, the very gates to the foot of the mountain on which the palace rested. It was set up with banners and a dais for the Queen to make her yearly descent from the mountain and begin the Harvest Moon festivities, which lasted one week. People in the capital closed up shop early in the days prior just to get good seats to watch their queen and be awed by her holy presence and flaming red hair, which was very unusual, even for a native.

Rumor had it that that her crimson hair reflects the origins of her throne; purchased with blood and bathed in war. Their queen was a warrior goddess. Word had traveled that she personally took up arms with her own people in the Wa Province rebellion, to show her support for them and to root out all of the wayward Ministers in her empire who wanted to hold on to their undeserved power. The people admired her for it. She was notably different from her predecessor.

Among the royal guests was Rakushun, whom Youko had not seen in a while due to his studies. In formal occasions, such as visiting her palace or in the presence of her Ministers, he would change into his human form. Her good-natured friend however preferred his mouse form when no one was looking. Unfortunately, there was no opportunity for him to be comfortable this night. After the opening ceremony, Youko made sure she had a chance to speak with him.

"Youko," greeted her friend casually, only one of five people in all the Twelve Kingdoms who dared to call her so informally. Shoukei, Suzu, and King En were among the others.

"Rakushun, is it over yet? Do I get a break yet?" asked the frowning queen, trying to balance her tall, five-pound headdress while reaching down rather unceremoniously to scratch her knee under layers of skirt.

"You can take one now, since no one is looking," smiled Rakushun, holding out his hands as Youko untied the ribbons that fastened the headdress to her skull and handed the blasted thing over with great exuberance. She let out a grateful sigh.

"Damn, that thing is heavy," she said rather lamely as she looked at the gold plated, peacock feather adorned, jeweled headpiece. The thing was not as heavy as her layers of embroidered robes, which felt more like ten pounds on her shoulders. It might as well have been made of lead; she didn't care for any of it. Her friend only laughed.

"It is a symbol, you know—" he began.

"_Of the Queen's authority_," finished Youko. "I know, I know." She rubbed a sore spot on her scalp where the circular gold base of the headdress had been chaffing. "The Queen's authority it starting to bruise me." This was, of course, one of fifty head dresses in her collection.

"You're doing a great job so far, Youko," smiled Rakushun. "The people have heard of your great deeds and they are willing to follow you. You are worshipped like a goddess; a curiosity and a treasure."

"You think too highly of me, Rakushun. I am more curiosity than treasure, I think. I'm just so awful at this! I can't imagine what Tentei was thinking when it chose me. Just this morning as I held court, I thought it would be great if I could find a place to hide. A place where even Keiki couldn't find me," she grinned. "Kimpa Palace is so huge. There must be a place like that."

"Keiki would be able to sense you no matter where you went. You do realize that, don't you?"

"Yeah. It would be like trying to lose my shadow," she uttered mournfully.

"Remember," said Rakushun. "You are like two halves, neither of you whole without the other. He needs you, flaws and all. You are the Warrior Queen and he is the Pacifier. He couldn't have uprooted all of those rotten ministers during the Rebellion himself. He couldn't have slain Jyoei or her followers. He's too compassionate for that."

Youko looked over to where a crowd was gathering around the dais. The nobles started to hurry along and find their seats. A troupe of dancers with long flowing sleeves and a group of troubadours with their instruments headed to the center square as the performance was about to begin. A few of the Ministers started to look around for their esteemed ruling monarch. Youko and Rakushun were hidden behind a pillar in the shadows and were not yet discovered.

"Rakushun, what would I do without you?" the queen smiled warmly, and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. "I'm so glad you're going to become my advisor when you graduate."

"My, you people from Hourai are really affectionate, aren't you?" he said as he stepped away from her. "How could I refuse the beautiful and commanding Queen of Kei?" he blushed. "But I have to remind you to behave yourself. What if someone saw?" The queen laughed.

"Your Majesty," interrupted a familiar voice. Youko whirled around to see the familiar stoic face of her kirin. He seemed rather irritated at the moment. "Please place the headdress back on your head. The performance is about to start. They cannot begin without you seated."

"Well then, you're going to have to help me. I couldn't see where they had bolted this over-done hat onto my cranium," grumbled Youko. Her kirin sighed woefully as he took the head piece and deftly arranged the stiff, woven hat part of the diadem back onto the carefully arranged bun her servants had oiled, braided and coiled on top of her head. He then took from her a stray hairpin, long with dangling onyx on delicate gold chains, and stuck it rather unceremoniously through the headdress and her coiled hair to hold everything in place. Before Youko could reach for the black ribbons dangling at her ears, Keiki took them, knotted and wrapped the ends in an ornate knot and bow.

"There," he said self-assuredly. "I've placed an enchantment on it. Only I can take this off." Youko scowled at him and her emerald eyes started to gleam. Rakushun couldn't hold in his laughter. She shot him a withering look as she was quickly ushered back to her place by other Ministers.

000

The wind had picked up after the celebration was over. Youko sat alone in her private room on a chair in the corner of the unlit room and stared out the large window to the bluish tinted world beneath the moonlight. With one hand, she plucked a lonely, nameless tune on the zither sitting on the table next to her as she gazed out into the night sky. She always retreated to this chamber after a hard day's work in the limelight. Solitude helped set her nerves at ease. She wondered if being queen would always be this hard. Her heavy head, headdress and all, tipped over to one side with a slight "thunk" against the wall as she tried to ease the burden off her tired neck.

From outside she heard soft footfalls behind the closed door. Youko knew who it was before it even opened. Rakushun was right; he really could find her no matter where she was.

In her weariness she uttered the words of a poem she recalled from one of the Classics lectures back in school to accompany the sound of the zither,

"_Chuáng qián míng yuè guāng_  
(Before my bed, the moon is shining bright)

_yí shì dì shàng shuāng_  
(I think that it is frost upon the ground)

_jŭ tóu wàng míng yuè_  
(I raise my head and look at the bright moon)

_dī tóu sī gù xiāng._"  
(I lower my head and think of home)

"_Shu-jou_," he said quietly as he stood in the doorframe. She knew that Keiki only called her that when he felt guilty. The kirin looked in silence at his solitary queen, sitting in her dark private room. He had never been in this room before but he noticed the few oddities that hung on the walls, and the easel in the middle of the room were all artifacts of Wa, her old home, that had washed ashore from a past _shoku_. Merchants in En, Kei, and Kou sometimes sold such things as knick knacks in the marketplace, not really knowing their use. His Queen suddenly looked small and lonely in her private corner of the world.

"I've come to remove the ornamental head piece for you," he offered.

"It's about time," chastised Youko quietly, without moving. Keiki walked over to her silently and looked for the ribbon to undo the spell. He soon realized that the ribbons had already been cut off. Keiki looked around and saw that they were placed neatly beside the Queen's sword, Suiguu, on the table, but she had not removed the headpiece despite her obvious discomfort. He pulled out the hairpin and gently removed the headdress. Keiki then realized that his monarch was a very difficult young woman to understand.

"Shu-jou," he began hesitantly, overcome with guilt at having tortured his monarch so.

"Don't apologize just yet. You'll ruin the moment," she smiled and she plucked out a few more solitary notes. He sat down in the chair opposite and he too gazed up at the moon, pondering the words of his Queen. He wished he were better at giving solace to others. He wanted to say something that would brighten the room, but could not find the words to bring her back from her quiet reverie. She was already a world away.

The silence was unnerving for him.

They were then interrupted by a shuffle of guards rushing into the Queen's apartments at the front entrance.

"What's this about?" demanded her head servant, stepping forward and positioning herself in front of the captain.

Keiki stepped outside of the room, almost glaring at the guards. "The queen is at rest. Can this not wait until morning?"

"We need to tell the Queen! We have very urgent news, Excellency!" insisted the captain, bowing from the waist.

"What is so urgent that you need to speak with me at this hour?" The guards turned to see the Queen herself step out from the shadow and stare them down with her emerald gaze. They each touched a knee to the ground and clasped their hands in respectful greeting.

"Y-your Majesty," stammered the captain, still somewhat in awe of her presence whenever he saw her. "Lord Shoukou has escaped."

* * *

Additional Comments: Yes, this is turning out to be kind of frilly. Sorry, it gets darker next chapter.

Yes, there's supposed to be a collective GASP at the end there. Feel free to do so before turning to Chapter 3, or moving on with your life and never returning to this story…

The poem is called Thoughts on a Still Night, by Li Bai (706-762 A.D.)


	4. Chapter Three: To Capture an Empress

Author's Note: I have to apologize to all my previous readers for bearing with the typos! I could have sworn that I uploaded clean copies of my chapters but when I went back recently, to my horror, there were so many simple errors! Gomene! Was I hallucinating, then? Man, gotta stay away from the sake...

-Kero (7/9/08)

* * *

**Chapter Three: To Capture An Empress**

_kokoro egakidasu chizujou no michina FRONTIER_  
(I draw a map on top of my heart's unknown frontier)

_tobira hiraitara michi wa tsuzuiteiru yo_  
(If I open the door, the road continues on)

_hitori tayorinaku senobi shite miru UTOPIA_  
(Alone and helpless I stand on my toes trying to see the utopia)

_yumemiru kurai nara kamawazu sagashiku yo_  
(If I can almost see it in my dreams, I won't mind going to search for it)

-_Minami Kaze_ (South Wind), by Shimokawa Mikuni; Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid, OP Theme

* * *

Keiki couldn't believe it. As his fingers tapped mindlessly on the side table beside his chair, he stared out blankly at the sky, randomly patterned to the horizon with delicate white clouds. He often wondered if somehow he had offended the Tentei when he couldn't stop You-Ou from losing her way; and now they gave him Sekishi as retribution for his prior failure.

A soft breeze caressed his cheek and stirred his wispy gold tendrils of hair. No, everyone had to admit that the present Queen was one of the best things that had happened to the kingdom of Kei in a long time. Not only did she understand the extent of her responsibilities, and stepped up to the task, she sincerely cared for her people. But her road to ascension had been bitter medicine for a young woman who had to throw away her innocence and stain herself in blood in order to claim her throne. Now the Fates were testing her again, by allowing Shoukou to go free.

"How much more of this does she need to go through?" he asked no one in particular, propping up his head with one hand on his forehead. Though he had difficulty expressing it toward others, as a kirin Keki had great compassion for all living things; but for his queen in particular, his feelings ran the deepest. She was, after all, his master chosen by Tentei, but also, without her he felt less than whole. This was the way of the kirin, as arranged by Tentei. All holy kirin were extremely attached to their rulers, regardless of whether this was the second ruler chosen by the same kirin. So much so that it commanded complete obedience; and obedience is what the queen commanded at this time.

"_Keiki_," said the queen before she left Kimpa Palace. "_You will be master of Kimpa Palace while I am gone. Shoukei will help you keep an eye on the ministers in Gyouten. Suzu and I will enlist the assistance of the Brotherhood to locate Shoukou's whereabouts_." A gentle breeze was blowing through her hair that morning, as she stood on the front entrance of Kimpa, dressed in her gray commoner's clothing, with Suiguu strapped to her back.

Her party consisted of a few loyal captains on flying white tigers, and Suzu, all dressed like commoners ready to rendezvous with her Royal Army at the Houkuryu Gate, the direction which Shoukou was seen to be fleeing towards. She looked out over the horizon when she uttered the words softly in her native Japanese, "_My utopia will have to wait_." Only Keiki understood what she meant. Nothing administratively could be done until her return, as her signature and seal were required to do anything for the kingdom. His single request was that she returns as swiftly as possible.

She had grown much since he first met her. Though he had not met many people in his life, he knew that his Queen was wise beyond her years…and extremely foolhardy and obstinate on top of that. So much so that he wondered if it was possible for kirin to grow gray hairs out of worry. He ordered Jouyuu to accompany the Queen and protect her at all costs.

The Queen had been in one of her more stubborn moods when she left. Because she felt that she should have dealt with Shoukou's sentence earlier but had been putting it off because the laws of Kei required certain tasks to be accomplished before the execution of a _senin_ could be carried out, and it was her first time formally executing anyone, so she delayed it indefinitely. All others she had to kill were in battle and out of necessity without very much time to think about the actual act of killing. But Youko took every life seriously, even Shoukou's. There was no doubt as to the outcome, but the time, the place, the mode, the manner of the execution needed to be carefully thought out. Many people in the Wa Province wanted his head displayed on the capital's gate. Many of the ministers, who incidentally also take bribes and overtax their provinces, spoke of a quiet life imprisonment, with leniency towards the offender's family.

Youko felt as though she had waited too long, and now Shoukou had fled out of her grasp, which also reflected poorly upon her authority. How was she to explain it to the people of the district and city whom he had offended so miserably? This was something she insisted upon dealing with by herself and this time she did not ask Keiki for assistance.

So, out of precaution and regardless of her stubborn nature, he sent his two strongest shirei, Hankyou the demon two tailed fox and Hyouki the demon dog to follow her from a distance and ensure the safety of the Queen and report to him at the first sign of trouble.

Shoukou had not escaped without supernatural help. The chains that bound him were miraculously cut and his fellow prisoners and the guards had no knowledge of his leaving until he was gone. The next thing anyone knew, he was flying away on the back of a _kouchou_ demon vulture in a northwesterly direction.

The Queen and Suzu would part at Hokuryu Gate and cast a wider net for the search. The orders were to kill him on sight, despite Keiki's protests, as the punishment for escapees by law was death. Youko reasoned that since Shoukou seemed to have help this time, he was not to be trifled with and she entrusted Suzu with a royal decree to give her the royal authority to bring Shoukou to justice as she saw fit. Knowing that Suzu had a long-term vengeance wish against Shoukou, at this point, Sekishi didn't care if they hung him or tied him to a cactus in the desert. He had caused her throne too much trouble already.

Keiki understood that his presence was better served in the Palace, since he couldn't stand the thought or sight of blood. But still, he somehow wished that he could be with her—especially when she was in danger. He sighed ruefully and continued to tap his fingers unthinkingly on the wooden tabletop.

"Shu-jou," he sighed. "Don't do anything foolish." The quiet blue sky above him seemed vast and lonely.

000

Meanwhile, after she had sent a handful of personal bodyguards with Suzu to seek out the assistance of the Brotherhood to comb all roads heading north on the ground, Sekishi set out with the Royal Army via air, heading northwest toward the mountain range separating Kei and En. Youko had anticipated that the mountains were the best place for a fugitive to hide. The Queen was determined to find him, out of fear that he could do more damage out there. But her instincts told her that this was the right direction if not location, and she pressed onward tirelessly until the end of the day.

"Captain Doumon," she said as her group flew above the thickly wooded forest. "We shall set up camp in that clearing. Give instructions for General Kantai to meet me in my tent after camp is set."

"Yes, Kei-Ou Sama," he responded. He was only one of many young soldiers still in awe of their imperial commander. The older officers in the Royal Army, the one standing army that could only be immobilized by permission of the Queen, still recall the tales of the prior Queen You-Ou who never left her palace. Not for a long time has Kei seen such a mobile and willing ruler, and a Queen besides. Her Majesty's Army was willing to follow her to the ends of the world.

Later that evening, Youko sat alone in her tent, having simply wiped away the day's dirt and grime off of herself with a few steamed wet towels. The soft light from the oil lanterns hanging on the pillars was comforting. She was dressed in a simple shirt and pants, a cleaner version of her travel clothes that she packed for sleeping. Suiguu hung from a tack on the center pillar of her hexagonal tent. By far, her tent was the most luxurious of the lot, but she insisted that they take away the heavy furs and simply line her tent with a few layers of rug. She wanted to travel light and fast, and despite her queenly demeanor, Youko did not really care for royal treatment. Her soldiers respected her for this.

As she sat down on a fold up stool by a makeshift table that was really a traveling chest stacked on a few crates with a embroidered silk tablecloth thrown over it by Captain Doumon to appeal to her more feminine side, she poured herself a cup of jasmine tea in a simple ceramic cup. She wished Suzu or Shoukei were with her, but she knew they were needed in the search and in the capital. Her gentle blood-adverse kirin had to stay in the palace or the capital where he could govern in her stead. He was in good hands since the Chousai was mostly in charge. Youko often wished the kirin were a little more useful in the fighting department, since they were such powerful creatures. But still, Youko liked her kirin for who he was. It was part of his "charm." Any less compassionate or peace-loving and he'd cease to be kirin.

"Ah, my useless kirin," smiled Youko affectionately. She imagined Keki sitting in his room by the window, impatiently tapping his fingers as he contemplated how strong-willed and stubborn his queen was. She knew there were going to be many lectures when she came back, but she took pleasure in the thought that he was at least worried about her.

"Kei-Ou Sama," said the familiar voice of General Kantai from behind her tent flap.

"No need for such formalities, Kantai. You'll get colder if you stand out there any longer," said the queen. Her most trusted general, Kantai who had previously served under the provincial Lord of Baku, and assisted her greatly in the Wa Province Rebellion, entered her tent without any further ceremony and sat down in the folding seat across from her. She poured him a cup of tea.

"Your Majesty," protested her general in dismay as the ruler of all of Kei set the teapot down.

"Whatever," smiled Youko. "No one's looking. Besides, I have great respect for you, Kantai, and we are equals on the field."

"Yes Your Majesty," said Kantai, saluting her with the cup in both hands before drinking.

"Suiguu has shown me Shoukou. He is in a forest surrounded by mist. I feel that we are still headed in the right direction. Is there any place like that on the map?" she asked as she unrolled an animal skin map of Kei onto the table.

"Here," said Kantai, placing his cup on the spot where they had set up camp and a finger on a small dot at the edge of the northwest mountain range. "This is Wu Lin Forest, the Forest of Mist."

"So it's settled, then. We're going there."

"Kei-Ou Sama, Wu Lin Forest is very dangerous. There is a local legend there of an unspeakably cruel devil who dwells there, taking the shape of a beautiful woman. They even sing ballads of her. I don't know if that's true, but we must be cautious of supernatural threats. Not to mention the threat of fighting additional stray youman. Most of the remaining youman from before your reign of Seki-Raku have taken refuge there. The other Youman have already left for the Kingdom of Kou, where now no ruler sits."

"I see. So eradicating the Youman in the forest will help my neighbors in En and Kou. Then we shall clear out the forest as well, whether or not we find Shoukou there," responded the queen.

"As you command, Kei-Ou Sama," said Kantai, bowing from the waist.

"You are dismissed, my good general," smiled Youko. "And why don't you teach me one of the ballads on the way there?" He stood up and saluted her with his right hand clasped over his left fist, took three steps backward toward the exit, and then left. This was the compromise of her First Proclamation. Her generals and the Head of Courtly Affairs back in her capital of Gyouten insisted on at least this formality if prostration was to be banned. Youko smiled at her small accomplishments to date before turning in for bed.

000

The next morning, further off in the forest of Wu Lin, a devil planned her rebellion against Tentei in a small tower fortress that stood at the foot of the northwest mountain range. The delicately featured and extremely beautiful Lady Yin looked over to the bed in her chambers. There lay the naked body of Shoukou, her newest minion sleeping in a coma like state. He would do her bidding without fail now, as his soul had already been consumed by her. This goddess in exile had been waiting for a fool like him. He had inherited a ruby ring from his predecessor, and that ring dated all the way back to the ancient days, when Lady Yin was still a goddess.

She had resigned her post as goddess of the Autumn Harvest in the land of Kei and made her descent to the Twelve Kingdoms because she had fallen in love with a mortal man. Against the Will of Tentei that dictated she remain pure in order to serve the heavens, she consummated her relationship with that mortal. The ring was a gift she had forged from molten rock to symbolize the undying flame of her love. Tentei abandoned her to her own devices, revoking most of her godly powers, but not her immortality.

Unfortunately for her, she was spurned, and Lady Yin had broken yet another law of Tentei when she murdered him and his lover in the most horrendous way. The man was drawn and quartered and the woman crucified by the lady's own hand. For whatever reason, in that moment of a blood stained sunset, she swore vengeance on mankind for their deception, and against Tentei for its unforgiving laws as she was forever exiled and denied the nectar of godly nourishment, _amurita_. She blamed men, and she blamed Tentei, but never herself.

Lady Yin then took on the lifestyle of youman in goddess form to survive, as a means for survival and an ultimate display of blasphemy. More youman followed her and she reigned over them, allowing them to devour the corpses of all who fell victim to her seduction after she had consumed their souls. Even Kei folklore over the course of a few generations sung of a beautiful demon disguised as a goddess. With each soul she became more powerful and if she should consume enough, she would be powerful enough to overthrow Tentei. Even now, demons and youman unhappy with their role in the Twelve Kingdoms, being slain and hunted in prosperous times, and only eating when a kingdom fails, swarmed her tower to join her. They too were tamed by her seductive charisma and she convinced them that overthrowing the Heavens meant they could eat human flesh as often as they wanted.

This man, Shoukou, also dared to defy Tentei, even as a mere mortal. He was an adequate minion who still had people in Gyouten, who could go one step further and usurp the new Queen who had been chosen by Tentei to rule Kei. Nothing would please Lady Yin more than one more attack on Tentei's laws. The ultimate goal was the death of the queen, and the oppression of all of Kei. Lady Yin would consume them all and then march on Heaven's Gate with her accumulated might.

She sat there by the windowsill sipping a warm cup of fresh, warm animal blood from a white porcelain cup, and with a simple and cruel smile she dared the Tentei to stop her. To her left was a mirror, an artifact and treasure from ancient times given to her by a long deceased king of En, whose kingdom she had a hand in ruining in a little chapter in her existence marking her ongoing hatred of Tentei, that could show her anything within their world.

"Show me Sekishi, Tentei's newest appointed stooge," she commanded. The surface of the mirror wavered and glowed. The image from within showed a band of individuals dressed in the colors of Kei's Royal Army entering the Wu Lin forest. The Queen was dividing her troops for the search, with an order that all Youman were to be killed on sight. She joined with General Kantai and they headed down the center, toward Lady Yin's tower. Just beyond the entrance was a steep cliff in a valley carved out from a river that melted from snow on the mountain peaks that nearly reached Unkai. It was particularly swollen and its current was strong. To capture a queen, one must have the right bait, and apparently, Shouko was enough trouble that the Queen herself would personally hunt him down.

"This is too easy," purred Lady Yin. "Ashura," she called. From the dark corner of the room came forth a black kingen demon parrot. Its huge form jumped up to the windowsill, nearly blocking all the light from outside.

"Go forth with the others to give our little queen some trouble. Make sure she captured alive and bring her to me. I will crucify her on the steps of Heaven's Gate before the week's end. If Tentei continues its complacency and will not strike me down then and there, then I am unstoppable and Kei will be mine. With their souls, I will become Goddess of all the Twelve Kingdoms."

The dark bird bowed to his mistress and jumped out the window. Its ebony wingspan of twelve feet helped it glide down to the forest trees below, and with a callous caw, fifty others flew up to join him. They sped over the forest trees, through the mountain's mist, toward their target. It was mid morning by the time they had caught up with the queen, outnumbering them fifty to twenty-five.

"Your Majesty!" called out Captain Doumon. "Youman!" He signaled the Queen's personal guard to surround her. He became unsettled as he realized they had been separated from the body of the Royal army in the search. General Kantai instructed the remaining soldiers to follow him and raised his spear as they flew headfirst to meet them.

_Heikka_, said Jouyuu in her mind. Youko felt her muscles tense as the demon prepared to fight.

"I thank you for your protection, Jouyuu," said Youko quietly, drawing her blade. She never traveled without the shirei Hinman at Keiki's insistence.

_You are most welcome, Majesty_. She and Jouyuu had actually become well acquainted and more like two polite friends as she consistently used him when fighting. Youko often wondered if she could win his loyalty even if he was not one of the kirin's shirei. But she never questioned his abilities to fight. Her only request was that they did not mortally wound human beings. Youman were the exception. Much to his enjoyment, Jouyuu could be as ruthless as he wanted with them.

When it started, Hankyou and Houki had caught up with the queen, and dispatched a number of flying kingen swiftly and adeptly. But as the melee drew on, no one was wiser to the clever Ashura's plan. While the others were busy defending the queen against the other black birds, he waited just below the surface of the mist for the right moment. When the opening finally came, he shot up like a powerful arrow shot up toward the sun to disembowel the tiger the queen was riding on. Luckily for the tiger, it dodged just at the last moment. But before anyone else was the wiser, Ashura's beak snatched up Kei-Ou's leg and dragged her up toward the clouds. The bird positioned itself in the sun so that the glare would hide it momentarily from the searching eyes of the Queen's guard.

With one taloned foot, Ashura took hold of the queen's head and he simultaneously let go of her leg.

_Heikka!_ shouted Jouyuu inside her head. Youko opened her eyes and snapped out of the sudden shock and pain of having her leg impaled on the demon parrot's beak and stabbed upward with Suiguu in one hand, and pierced the bird's chest cavity. Mortally wounded, Ashura started to fall, but did not let go of the queen, still in his clutches. Before she could pry herself from the taloned claws Ashura uttered an incantation.

"_By order of the Goddess Yin_," it gasped and finally let go. As if stopped by an invisible barrier, Jouyuu felt as though it was slammed into a stone wall and was separated from the queen in mid air. Jouyuu watched as the queen fell into the river below and was washed away.

_Hankyou_, commanded Jouyuu. The demon fox appeared out of thin air.

_I will alert the Master of what has occurred_, said the fox and he disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

_I will follow the river's end to find the Queen_. _Let us hope she can defend herself in a forest of youman until then_, said Houki, and he flew down through the mist and disappeared.

_Let us hope she can swim_, said Jouyuu, his remark hiding the true feelings of worry that went with the Queen before following after Houki.

* * *


	5. Chapter Four: What Dreams May Come

**Notes: **I've cleaned it up a bit since those first three reviews. (I really didn't think it mattered because no one reviewed at all when I first posted!) Finally people started reading it …Thanks for the imput!

(Notice how I left Asano and Sugimoto out, since they had virtually no role in the books). I tried to be consistent with the themes and overtones of Jyuuni Kokki the anime, and the novels, but I also want independent character development, which I felt was lacking for many of the major characters. Youko chose to live and by doing so, chose to be Queen, but I imagine her thoughts aren't as easy as that.

What would happen if Youko were actually given a real choice? That's where my story is headed. Please R&R. --Kero

* * *

**Chapter Four**

"Let me be cruel, not unnatural; I will speak daggers to her, but use none."

--William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet Act II, Sc.ii

Youko lay cold and slightly damp on a barren stone floor. Everywhere smelled of mold and decay. She could not tell if she had opened her eyes or not for she was surrounded in darkness. She tried to grope and feel around her, but Suiguu was nowhere to be found. She let out a sigh as she remembered what had happened to her last. Scattered recollections told her she had fallen into the river and lost consciousness after being knocked about against boulders in the body of the twisting water. At one point, when the current was pushing her further and further down, she wondered if she was going to drown.

Her body ached and she wondered if some of her bones might be broken. The chains and shackles tightly binding her ankles and wrists told her she was a captive, but other than that, the darkness around her lent no other clues. She resigned herself to thinking of those whom she held dear, and her thoughts came to one whom, in her sudden clarity of thought, was very dear to her.

"_Keiki_," she recalled as part of a conversation she and her kirin had no long ago. "_Why is it that you have no other name, aside from 'Keiki'?_" the queen had asked one brisk spring morning earlier on in her reign. She had perched herself rather unceremoniously on his window sill in his room.

_"I was not given another name by You-Ou, and you have not given me one_," he responded simply as he sat on his bed. It was still too early for the servants to come attend to him, but Youko, out of curiosity had discovered a secret passageway that led from one of her closets to the kirin's apartments. Keiki was rather surprised when he saw Youko sitting at his bedside and watching him as he slept, covered in dark splotches of dust and webs over her white nightdress and her face. She was like a child staring intently at a curiosity that she did not quite comprehend. He had blushed at the proximity of her face to his and sat up uncomfortably pulling the covers up, for he was still dressed in his night robes. Youko couldn't help laughing at his awkward shyness. This had unnerved him even more than the impropriety of her barging into his chambers while he slept.

"_Enki is called Rokuta because of his origins in Hourai, but he is also called 'baka,' out of affection, of course_," she smiled. In this world, the name means a cross between a deer and a horse utilized the words "_ka_" and "_ba_." Youko still found it hilarious every time she thought of it. She also wanted to be friends with her kirin, despite his dour and often stony exterior. But judging by her kirin's expression, still behind the veiled silk curtain of his bed, she knew it was a long, uphill task.

"I may not be able to name you either, Keiki," she sighed to the darkness. Even Jouyuu was gone now and she was completely alone. Though as a Queen blessed by Tentei she would not die of starvation; she was still hungry and was unaware of how much time had passed as she lay there with only her thoughts to comfort her.

After what seemed to be a very long time, as her body was stiff and weak from lack of exercise or nourishment, the stone wall finally opened, and what appeared to be a beautiful goddess stood illuminated in a doorway. She was dressed in beautiful and revealing robes that flowed everywhere. For a moment, Youko thought she had died.

"Not yet, Sekishi," said her captor as if knowing her thoughts. "But I will be the one to kill you. Before that, shall we have a little fun first?"

000

Suzu stood up and slammed a fist against the council room table. The pain from her hand helped her fight back her tears of anger at the thought of losing her friend to a bunch of lousy giant youman parrots. It was so unfitting for her Queen to go down like that.

"Is there nothing we can do to retrieve her?" she asked in a quiet, controlled voice. Shoukei rolled out a map of Kei, the most detailed in all the kingdom that was kept here in the royal strategy room, and measured the li from the beginning of the river to its end when it poured out into Koukai.

"We've been searching the length of the river for seven days now, starting from the point where Jouyuu saw her go down. All we have found is Suiguu and Hekisouju. But perhaps it is not the river that we should be looking at," said Shoukei steadily.

"Jouyuu also mentioned that the youman that had first taken Youko had uttered an incantation to forcefully release him from her," said Rakushun. He too was worried about his friend, but tried to remain as calm as possible for the sake of the others. The only others in the room were General Kantai, who had returned with the Royal Army after the disappearance of the Queen to report to Keiki for further instructions, Shoukei and Suzu, the queens loyal advisers, and Rakushun, who had rushed over from the Kei Daikoku the minute he heard from Shoukei what had happened, and Keiki. He was still sitting quietly in the corner of the room, not having uttered a single word since he entered.

"The Goddess Yin," said Shoukei. "I can't say that I've ever heard of her."

"When I was working with my former mistress, I had also traveled to Gozan to retrieve some holy water for her. I had overheard a story among the seinin servants there of a Goddess named Yin who was cast down from Tentei. I don't know why, though," said Suzu.

"The legend of Yin the Demon is among the mythical works included in the university. She was cast down for trying to overthrow the laws of Tentei, that prevented her from being with her mortal true love," suggested Rakushun.

"The Brotherhood has a smaller division set up in a town just south of where Youko was last seen. When I mentioned the name Yin to them, they said she was a demon witch that lived in a tower just on the outskirts of Kei. Legend has it that she had tried to seduce a mortal man after falling in love with him, and when he refused her because he was already betrothed to a human girl whom he loved, out of jealousy Yin tortured and killed them both and became a devil among youman. They said she eats human souls for fun and is the devil plotting the demise of all star-crossed lovers," said Shoukei.

"Either way, this Yin character can't be good news for Kei-Ou Sama. I doubt Yin forced out Jouyuu because she was performing a selfless exorcism," sighed Kantai. The others mumbled in agreement.

"Youko is very strong and has a will like iron," said Rakushun. "She's still alive, surely." A heavy silence filled the room as their worry continued to escalate.

"But she must be found as soon as possible," said Suzu. "There's nothing out there, and without her sword or food, she won't be doing very well. She can't heal as quickly without Hekisouju." Suzu's hands squeezed the edges of the map as she tried to clear her mind of all the terrible things that could have befallen Youko.

"Keiki-sama," said Shoukei gently, knowing that the kirin was still deeply affected by the disappearance of the queen. "Is there nothing that your shirei can do for us to find her?"

"Nothing," said Keiki wearily. All his shirei could not find the scent of the queen in the forest, as if traces of her had been erased or somehow made invisible and unnoticeable to them. The Royal army had tried to hunt down all the remaining youman in Wu Lin Forest before heading back, in an attempt to locate their Queen, but no one had reported seeing a tower or any other structure at the base of the mountains.

"But a kirin can sense his master no matter where she is," he said quietly as he stood up.

"Saiho-sama," said Kantai. "Let us of the Queen's Guard accompany you." Keiki nodded.

"I guess I will commiserate with the Taishi and the Chosai to keep her absence a secret from the other Ministers and from the people for as long as possible," sighed Rakushun.

"I will need Enho and Suiguu's assistance in locating Kei-Ou sama's general location," said Keiki.

"I'm going back to search for her by ground," said Suzu, also standing up. "The Brotherhood will assist me when I get there. Send your shirei to tell us which direction to look, Saiho-sama."

"I'm coming too," said Shoukei. "I'm not staying behind."

Rakushun looked at the two women and sighed. "Who will take care of the kingdom if you all leave to search for Youko?"

"There will _be_ no kingdom if she dies," said Shoukei and Suzu simultaneously.

000

Youko lay in a state between consciousness and sleep, and her mind felt heavy and drugged. The incense burning in the corner of her cell gave up purple swirling smoke that nearly paralyzed her. All of her limbs felt very heavy.

"Why do you hate me so?" asked Youko, panting as she tried to breathe through the smoke.

"It's not personal. I'm waiting for Tentei to strike me down," laughed Lady Yin. Youko stared at her incredulously.

"Tentei has better things to do than trifle with you," answered Youko. "You aren't worth the effort." Her captor laughed dreadfully.

"Even if it's to save one of His precious Chosen Ones, Sekishi?" she jeered. "Without you, the kingdom of Kei will fail. I will oppress its people and eat their souls. Surely that cannot be the Will of Tentei!" She threw a goblet of animal blood at Youko, splashing her face with it. "I've been wanting to beat you with a stick like a common dog, to wipe that disgusting look of self-righteousness off your face. But I've found a more diverting means of toying with your life. The incense you are inhaling now weakens your mind I will soon learn your darkest and deepest fears, and to put it simply, I will drive you mad with them," she laughed. "Fare thee well, dear Queen, for you may no longer be yourself when I am through with you." Lady Yin stepped over and put her hand to Youko's forehead. Suddenly, Youko felt her mind covered in darkness, as if enveloped in a swathe of black velvet, and her vision failed her.

She thought she heard screaming, but faintly recognized the voice as her own. Her head felt as if it was being split in two by a butcher's knife as she felt a foreign presence probing further and further into the recesses of her mind. Then the pain finally stopped. She wondered if Lady Yin was through with her, but her head was still throbbing. Youko thought she was hearing voices in her head, but the voices gave way to a vision. She was back at Kimpa Palace. You-Ou was brushing her hair in front of a looking glass and it was as if Youko were right on the other side.

The prior queen was dressed in comfortable royal robes draped loosely over her shoulders over a simple gown. Her eyes looked haggard and hollow, as if she had not slept for months. Youko knew that You-Ou had left most of the administrating to the Ministers and the rest to Keiki, so she knew her predecessor could not have been overworked. But the responsibilities of the kingdom were taking a toll on her, as her youth began to disintegrate, and her mind became unstable. The blessing of Tentei was leaving her. She got up and opened the closet door to where the secret passage lay and disappeared through it.

Youko found herself looking into Keiki's room, where he was quietly sitting at a table pondering some ancient manuscripts. He looked up, ever unchanged by his immortality, surprised that You-Ou should be standing there.

"_Kei-Ou Sama_," he addressed politely.

"_Keiki_," said You-Ou and Youko at the same time. Her heart told her that she truly missed him and wished, or rather hoped, he would find her soon and get her out of here. In the meantime, she was forced to watch the scene playing out before her.

"_The Minister of the Interior told me a very interesting story about these rooms. Legend had it that a prior ruler of Kei had fallen in love with her kirin, and had their rooms connected to carry out a love affair," smiled You-Ou. "Keiki, you love me, don't you_?" asked You-Ou. He paused to think about her words and his response.

"_I care about you very much…and I care about the kingdom. But I cannot love you in the way that you wish me to. It is against the Will of Tentei_."

The face of You-Ou visibly colored. "_Keiki, you are so awful_!" screamed You-Ou. "_You name me Queen but cannot give me the one thing I ask for in return! I hate you for doing this to me! I can't even resign or leave or else I'll die. This palace is no better than a prison. I can't trust anyone but you and you won't love me. I'm no good at government and you know it_!" With a wave of her arm she swept off the manuscripts on the table and the parchment papers went flying and fluttering everywhere.

"_If you could but learn some of the basics…_" he started, almost apologetically.

"_I can't learn any of this! I'm so miserable here_!" she cried out and headed back to the passageway from which she came. Keiki stood in her way.

"_Kei-Ou sama, you must abandon whatever feelings you harbor for me. It is poisoning your mind and it is aging you unnaturally. At this rate, you'll die…_" he said softly. You-Ou's face brightened and she hugged him. "_Oh, Keiki, you do care for me_," she sighed and buried her face in his chest.

_**A kirin is supposed to be pure**_ whispered a voice in Youko's head. _**That is how he maintains his power. To disobey the Will of Tentei means certain death…**_

Youko was still looking into Keiki's room, except the furniture was different, and the color of the room was different. A tall blonde man, also a kirin apparently, stood before the windowsill looking out at the pale face of the full moon. He was dressed loosely in night robes and Youko could see the soft pale light against his bare shoulder. On his bed a woman stirred herself awake, and she sat up while pushing back the curtain. She was beautiful; with long dark hair that washed in waves down her back. Without clothes she walked over to the kirin and rested her head on his back. Sadly, they were a very beautiful pair.

"_We will surely be punished for this_," said the kirin slowly.

"_Then I defy the Will of Tentei to love you_," whispered the woman.

"_We will not survive the end of the year_," he stated truthfully.

"_Then I have never known happiness in my life until now. I do not regret forfeiting my life for this_," she answered.

"_The kingdom will suffer for what we have done_," he sighed, the pain obvious in his voice.

"_Then for this I am truly sorry_," responded the woman honestly. "_But I cannot stop loving you. May history forgive me for my crime, and may Tentei be merciful in bringing my death. Hold me once more my love. We have nothing to lose now…_" her voice drifted. Her kirin turned around to embrace her and press her body into him.

Youko felt as though she should not have been watching, but she couldn't help it. The scene and their words were heartbreaking in that quiet room with the silver moonlight spilling over them. Youko had never heard of this queen, but instantly sympathized with her.

_**Don't you wish that it was you and your precious kirin?**_whispered a voice in her head.

"No," answered Youko flatly. "Keiki and I aren't like that."

_**Silly girl. I reached far into the recesses of your mind and I found this lingering in your heart. You had seen it through Suiguu because you had wondered who else had used the hidden passage you found that linked your two rooms together. Somewhere deep inside you you've always wanted to be loved. Neither your parents nor anyone else could give that to you. Now what do you have? You have the total affection of two men, one who is part mouse and other part deer. What a choice!**_ The voiced laughed in mockery.

"Stop it," demanded Youko.

_**But, there is only one man who has been constantly by your side since he crowned you Queen. One who is never far from your thoughts. Surely it has crossed your mind…? After all, you are imperfect, little girl, and likely to make the same mistakes as your predecessors…**_

Youko suddenly found herself naked in a dark room awash with moonlight, with a pair of strong arms holding her close. The familiar scent of Keiki, like a faint ocean breeze in the morning, filled her nostrils.

"No!" protested Youko. She looked up and saw Keiki's gentle violet eyes staring back at her. "This is not what I want," she said weakly as he leaned over and touched his lips to hers. The strength left her arms and she could no longer push him away. Youko realized that she had never been kissed before, and she had always been curious…

"No…stop this…," she whimpered as he kissed her fully and deeply. Youko felt as though she wanted to weep. _This isn't what I want_. He brought her over to his bed and lay her down gently. Youko tried pushing him away but found her strength gone.

"This isn't what I want!" she cried out. "It isn't real! Ah--" she sucked in her breath as Keiki nuzzled the back of her neck with his nose and started to kiss behind her ear. She felt as though her body were on fire as she responded to his touch. His body then lay on top of hers, pressing against her.

"Stop it!" Youko demanded. "Stop this now!" She willed the vision to stop and all of it faded away. Youko was again on the floor of her cold cell, on her hands and knees beating a fist into the ground. Teardrops fell to the stone cold floor.

"Unlike you, I dared to achieve forbidden love and I was cast out of Heaven since I defied Tentei's Will. But you on the other hand will end up ugly and horrid just like You-Ou," smiled Lady Yin. "You might as well defy the Will of Tentei now, for all of your efforts will be for naught. It is your Destiny. You will fall in love with Keiki. Your love will ruin you and Keiki will suffer the Shitsudou, just as you saw in the past. Side with me and help me overthrow Tentei. When I take Heaven's Throne with my army of youman, I could let you and Keiki live on, without inhibitions, without regret. You can be with him forever," she smiled.

"And at what cost?" asked Youko simply. "No matter how I feel about Keiki, or how I _will_ feel about him, I will not let my people fail or my capital fall to ruin simply because I am imperfect. I have faults enough, but such selfishness will not be one of them. Kei Koku needs me and I will not abandon my people." In the darkness, she heard the approach of Yin's hand and felt a swift slap across her cheek. She could taste the blood on her lip.

"I am merely accomplishing what you could not," Youko replied, using a finger to smear the blood on the Queen's face.

"You are a fool then who does not dare to live. You will simply do what they expect you to do, fall into the rules and laws of Tentei like a good girl. I am done with you, disgusting creature," she spat, and slammed the cell door behind her. Lady Yin leaned against the door and tapped at it thoughtfully.

"Unlike Tentei, I've given you a choice, ungrateful girl. I will have to carry out my other plan then. The one where I crucify your headless body at Heaven's Gate. Let us see who will save you, Sekishi. Or will you merely die horribly and your people will suffer nonetheless? I can't wait to see what happens." She let out a nasty little laugh and walked away.

* * *

Comments:

The Will of Tentei wants a utopia, but good never exists without evil in human or godly form. Granted, the people of Juuni Kokki can be pretty rotten, but if Heaven cast down Lucifer, and Narnia had a witch, and Oz presumably had one witch for each major direction (two of them evil), and Sauron's Master was also an outcast god in the Silmarilion, then the world of Juuni Kokki needs a devil. (I tend to think in patterns).

Unfortunately, I couldn't make up anything else about Yin for this chapter. Advice is always welcome. Hopefully, she's at least plausible. Please R&R. --Kero.


	6. Chapter Five: God Save The Queen

**Chapter Five**

_Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta..._  
(I was happy meeting you,)

_Kodoku sae mo, wakachi aeta_  
(Even though I could only share my lonliness,)

_Ima mo, kono sora no shita, tsunagatte iru to_  
(Even though we're separated now,)

_Sou, omoeru...hanarete mo..._  
(I feel that we're somehow still connected under this sky…)

--Shimokawa Mikuni, lyrics to _Karenai Hana _(Unwithering Flower), Full Metal Panic! ED Song

* * *

Keiki and the old royal advisor watched the still surface of the blade Suiguu. The same man who had helped King Tatsu create the blade to unite the souls of Suiguu, Hekisouju and Aozaru hoped to have some influence to use it to locate the present ruler of Kei. In reality, they were merely waiting for Suiguu, linked to the mind of the Queen, to reflect any scene at all that might give them an indication of where she might be. After an hour of no reaction, the candles flickered and the blade started to glow a pale bluish light. The silver surface of the blade wavered and from the silver pool, the image was forming. The were both surprised by what Suiguu showed them of their captive Queen.

Youko was shackled and chained to a giant iron pike sticking in the ground, shown against the early morning light atop of breezy cliff. Breathing heavily, her face was resting on her knees but the color of her loosened hair gave her identity away. It floated in trailing glowing auburn tendrils as more clouds parted and she felt the sun for the first time in many days. Beside her was an ornate, jeweled sedan with flowing gold silk curtains carried on the back of a massive, resting youman. A woman's voice was heard from the inside. The voice was rich and seductive and exceedingly cruel. In the background several youman were dragging a long, heavy wooden object to load onto a wagon.

"_You can still change your mind, my dear Sekishi_. _I can give you everything you ever wanted, even your freedom. I will have that power once I regain my true strength. I can send you back to Hourai and erase you memory so it will be like all of this never happened. I can release you from the curse of the throne_." She pulled back the curtain to reveal a beautiful face behind a jeweled veil, descending her sedan to reach over and clutch Youko's chin and force the Queen to look at her. Youko looked extremely pale and malnourished. The bruises on her face and the blood running down the side of her mouth showed that she had just been beaten, but her emerald eyes still showed defiance. She even managed to smile a little to mock her captor.

"_I am only fulfilling my destiny_," responded Youko.

"Destiny? _What the hell is that? It's truly disappointing how you will not defy the Will of Tentei; that all-knowing, over-glorified god who ripped you from your birthplace and planted you as a puppet queen in a dying land. I can give you a world that has no restraint, no retribution and no price to be paid for fulfilling your desires. You are nothing but a bird in a gilded cage; not free to leave, not free to love, not free to die. You disgust me_." The woman pushed Youko's face away and walked over to speak with Shoukou.

Knowing that this might be her only chance, and betting that she had become so thin that she might be able to pull it off, she twisted her wrists and tried to pull out of her bonds. She bit her lip and winced as the pressure of sliding her hands out of her shackles started tearing at her skin. She closed her eyes and continued to tug, thinking of happier times with her friends, of Rakushun and even Keiki, who was dearer to her now than she had ever realized. Youko gave out a triumphant gasp as she wrenched herself free, and she toppled over and buried her face in the grass from the pain, turning away and hiding the fact that she was no longer bound. She gasped for air as she forced herself not to pass out. The dislocation of her thumbs was a necessity. The Taishi winced at the image of her plight. Unwittingly, Keiki's hand reached up to grab the blade, cutting his fingers in the process.

"Shu-jou," he whispered painfully.

Shoukou came back from their discussion and addressed the Queen while she lay on the floor.

"_My Lady has plans to crucify you soon before Heaven's Gate. But before your life is over, shall we first nail your hands and feet to the beams? I dare Tentei to strike me down_," Shoukou laughed haughtily. "_You sought to best me, and now, you are outdone_." He stepped closer to her, but with her last strength she rolled away from him, and managed to stand up.

She visibly trembled from not having moved so much in days. But she was still defiant and with a deep breath she squared her shoulders back.

"_As charming as we find your present offer, we're afraid we must decline_," said Youko in her most royal courtly manner. "_You see, I have the problem of not knowing when or whether I am defeated. I prefer to take my chances with Death first_," she smiled. She stepped back further to the edge of the cliff. "_But if Death does not take me now, and I live through this, then I promise you that I will take both of your heads myself and I will put them on stakes and leave your bodies in the middle of the field where crows and youman can pick you apart piece…by…piece_. _Tentei need not bother for the Queen of Kei will put an end to this._" Youko took another step back. A serious and deadly gleam shone in her glittering green eyes and a defiant laugh stained her lips; and then Youko deliberately leaned backward and fell over the cliff into the raging river below, head first, disappearing below its surface with barely a splash.

Both the Taishi and Keiki stood silent and extremely disturbed by what they had seen. As the old mentor pried the Saiho's fingers off the blade, handed him a handkerchief for the wound, and put the sword back into the scabbard, they could still hear the ringing of its blade. Keiki was forced to sit down in the nearest chair, breathing steadily and trying to ignore the smell of his blood gathering and clotting in the folds of the handkerchief. The Taishi also sat down and shook his head in disbelief.

They realized that looking for the Queen was a daunting task. That scene could have taken place anywhere near the Northwest mountain range. It would take days to locate that cliff, and even then, the whereabouts of the Queen would still be unknown because she would have washed away in the river, carrying her who knows where.

"At least we know that she is alive, Saiho," sighed the Taishi. The death of his most prized pupil, the Queen of Kei would be a very sad loss for the country, especially since she was just barely crowned that year. The suffering of the people without the Queen on her throne would mark another dark age for Kei.

"Saiho-sama, you must find Kei-Ou sama at all costs," said the Taishi.

"You need not remind me," replied Keiki.

"She is tough as an iron shield; like a blood red flower with thorns, unyielding in the frost. But still, when you find her, make sure you have a warm change of clothes for the poor child. The waters are cold this time of year." The Taishi sighed and rolled out a map of Kei onto his table. "I would try all of the rivers closest to the mountain range. A cliff like that is in a deeper valley, and those only form closer to the mountains, where the rivers are older," he suggested.

"I will search every inch of of the Twelve Kingdoms, if I need to," answered Keiki. "My first search for her led me much farther than that." He summoned his shirei.

"I will need all of your help," he requested.

"_As you command, Saiho_," they responded in unison. Keiki then transformed into his original form, that of the holy creature known as a kirin, part horse and part deer, with a single two-pronged horn from its forehead. The Taishi knelt and bowed in its presence, and without another word the kirin disappeared out the terrace window and into the velvet, moonless night.

000

Youko found herself rather warm and comfortable. It took her a moment to realize that she was still alive. She opened her eyes and found that she could only see through one of them. The other was covered in bandage wrapped around her head that covered her vision on the left side. She raised a hand to touch it and saw that her right and left thumbs had also been splinted and bandaged securely to her hands.

"You had a bit of nasty treatment from your captors," said the voice of a young man. She turned her head slightly to see that beyond the campfire that was keeping her warm, and handsome visage was sitting across from her on an old log. Youko tried to sit up, rather unsteadily, but before she lost her balance, a large, strong beak propped her up so she could sit up straight. She looked behind her to find a winged youman with gentle eyes.

"I didn't expect that. But thanks," smiled Youko weakly at the youman. She looked back toward the young man.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

"We've met once, briefly on Mt. Hou, when you were mistress of the mountain prior to your ceremony," he answered, stirring the fire with a stick to maintain its flame.

"Mt. Hou," she pondered for a moment. "It sounds familiar. Where is that?"

The stranger looked at her for a moment puzzled and then realized what was wrong. He got up and went over to her, which took her aback since he seemed to glide over so gracefully, and touched her forehead.

"I see. You took a mighty knocking about in that river, which seems to have met with you twice in the same week. That's rather unfortunate," he said in a rather understated way. "But it is not because of these wounds that your recollection is lost. Someone has tried to tamper with your mind and now it is closed, even to you. Do you not know who you are?" he asked gently.

Youko looked into his kind, deep eyes and thought they looked very akin to a pair of violet ones she had seen somewhere before. She shook her head in confusion.

"I cannot recall," she answered simply. After staring at the dirt on her bare feet, she realized that she was completely naked, but for the warm, furry blanket her rescuer had wrapped around her dutifully. Her clothes were hanging on a low branch nearby to dry. She pulled the fur closer to herself for warmth and looked up.

"But you seem to know who I am. Can you not tell me?" she asked hopefully.

"No, I cannot. Only you can tell yourself who you are; it would not be my place to say. Your mind is tired, so we should let it rest." He got up at looked around the clearing, as if scanning the dark forest around them.

"There is a group of traveling performers coming this way. They will also spend the night here, as it is near a Yaboku tree," he indicated toward her left and she saw a tall, white tree that seemed to glow. It had no leaves, and no fruit, but there was something very comforting about its presence. It seemed to exude warmth and scent of warm, sweetened milk. Her rescuer got up to leave.

"Wait," she called. "I don't know your name. How can I thank you properly for what you have done for me?"

"You may call me Kouya. It is a name that was given to me," he smiled.

"Kouya san, thank you," she managed to smile genuinely. Her face felt as though she hadn't done that for a long time.

"We will meet again before long, Chu-Yoshi sama." He got atop his youman and with a giant flap of both wings that picked up leaves and debris he drifted over the tree line and disappeared. Youko could hear the wagon wheels coming closer and wrapped herself tightly in the large fur.

_Chu-Yoshi. Is that my name_? she asked herself.

"Whoa, horse, whoa!" called out the voice of a man. A horse whinnied and stopped pulling its rickety wooden burden. She could hear its hooves pawing the ground.

"Sachou-san, I see there's a campfire in the clearing; but there's also some sort of fuzzy creature sitting next to it. Could it be youman? Or hanjyuu, perhaps?" the man asked quietly, in a low voice.

"I have the feeling it is neither," said the voice of an elderly woman.

"Do not fear me," said Youko steadily to the others. "I am merely taking shelter here to recover from my ordeal. I have apparently fallen into a river twice and am using this fur for warmth as my clothes are still drying. You may join me if you wish." Several cautious footsteps came closer to her.

"I recognize that voice," said a little girl. She ran up to Youko and looked at her, feeling the damp red hair between her little fingers.

"Nii-chan!" she exclaimed. But she looked closer and Gyoukuyou became confused. "But you look more like an onee-chan right now…"

"I am a girl, silly. At least I think I've always been one. Do you know me?"

"Of course I do, Onee-chan. We traveled together for a few months to drop you off at the harbor in Kou. But don't you look terrible now!" she remarked honestly. The others came to Youko as well, rather shocked at her bedraggled and wounded appearance.

"Oh, you poor thing. You look like you nearly drowned and have not eaten in weeks. Let me see what I can make for you!" said Bishin.

"Did you get beat up, or something?" asked Koutetsu gruffly. Youko looked up at the large burly man and into his kind eyes. He was truly concerned about her. She merely shrugged.

"I'm not sure, since my memory seem to be blank. I can't even remember who any of you are, although you seem to know me rather well. I guess we are friends, then," she concluded.

"Let me see if I can find some healing salve for your cuts," grumbled Koutetsu and went back to their wagon to rummage through his traveling pack.

"You are a kaikyaku," smiled Sachou-san. "We took you in as one of us for a while. I shall tell you the whole story of what we know of you, if you'd like." She sat down on the log opposite Youko to warm her hands. "It's a cold night, dear. It's too cold to be alone tonight. If you don't mind, we'll stay here with you."

"Please do," smiled Youko. Her heart told her that these were people she could trust, and besides, the Sachou-san seemed very grandmotherly and comforting. From the looks of her injuries, they concluded that someone disliked her very much and that she may still be in danger. For a girl with no memory, a friend was a good thing to have. Bishin busied herself with searching for leftovers in their traveling wagon.

"Okay, I've got a pot of fish stew ready to boil here," sighed Bishin satisfactorily after rummaging through the wagon for leftovers. "Who wants some?"

"Me!" cried out Koutetsu and Gyoukuyou at the same time. The two competitors both glared at one another. The others simply laughed as they unpacked their sleeping tents and started to set up their camp.

"I'll have some too, thank you," smiled Youko. When it was done, she was handed a wooden bowl and spoon and sat cross-legged before the campfire with the others. Though she was wrapped in a large fur blanket, and was mostly covered in dirt from head to toe, there was something familiar and comforting about the whole scene. But Youko also felt that something was missing. Her head hurt whenever she tried to remember all she had forgotten. But for now, it was time to eat, and she couldn't remember smelling anything so delicious in a very long time.

000

Youko looked up at the electric blue sky and the scattering clouds on a cold afternoon in mid-autumn. She stretched her back as she stood up and heard some cracking as her bones realigned themselves in their joints. She took a deep breath and inhaled the brisk air into her lungs and let it all out a slow, steady exhale.

"Good work, Chu Yoshi-san," she smiled as she admired her work. Three long, perfect lines of linens and laundry were washed, hung and drying in the sun. The troupe had stayed on the outskirts of a town called Hien, near a brook that sprang from the Shu River, due south of the Northwest Mountain range. They had remained hidden under the thick forest canopy for a while, not only because Chu-Yoshi needed time to heal her wounds, but also because an unprecedented number of youman were flying about in the night, searching for something. They didn't dare travel too far until their companion had enough time to heal her wounds, for she was the best fighter of them all and could defend them if need be.

Youko didn't feel much like a defender as much as she felt like a laundress at this time. Her body felt heavier than she recalled it had ever been in the past. She was virtually useless until her hands healed, and the wounds on her head were taking their time and would often give her headaches if she traveled too far or stayed awake for more than twelve hours. Still, she wanted to make herself useful, and the only thing she could think of was doing their laundry. Strangely enough, she did not scar as badly as she thought she would, and her bones mended quite well after Sachou-san and Koutetsu had wrapped her with many li's worth of bandages dipped in salve over the course of the few weeks she had stayed with them. Koutetsu made the comment that she was blessed by Tentei, the Will of Heaven, and she wondered if it was really true.

Sachou-san and Bishin explained all that they knew about her, and she thought the story sounded really familiar. It was strange to hear about people talking of her, when it really sounded like she was hearing about someone else. Her memory on the other hand, was not really jolted by any of this information. But at night, she constantly had dreams about various people whose faces she could not recall but whom she knew to be friends who knew her and cared very much for her. In particular, she had dreams about a tall man with golden hair to whom she felt keenly bonded. The more time she spent away from him, the more she knew that he worried about her, and she felt that somehow she was severely disappointing him. Youko did not speak of these things to her traveling companions. But her loneliness and emptiness were strongest in the night.

Recently, she had been having dreams of a blue monkey-like being, who constantly laughed at her and snickered at her predicament. It was on one particularly cold night that she had yet another dream of that damned blue monkey. Youko tossed and turned uncomfortably in her tent as a conversation between herself and Aozaru took place in her head.

"Hee, hee, hee, hee…." snickered the monkey. "Still trapped in your own self-denial, eh Sekishi?"

"Shut up you stupid monkey. All you do is laugh at me," sighed Youko in the dream.

"Too ashamed to admit that you fell in love with your kirin," he grinned. "Pathetic as I think you are, even I am surprised. What would the others say? What would your kirin say?"

Youko looked away and said nothing.

"Well, even if your body heals, you are still invisible to youman because of that spell, and therefore your precious kirin's shirei cannot sense you. Come to think of it, he's pretty useless if his shirei can't help him. This whole forest reeks of blood because of Yin's gathering youman. The mere thought of blood makes him woozy, so it would be a miracle if he actually found you." The monkey hopped and did cartwheels around her in glee at her mental anguish. "Your people are being picked off and eaten as we speak. You must feel pretty useless right now, eh?"

"Shut up," responded Youko.

"Shoukei and Suzu are close by, though, as is Suiguu, my better half," smiled Aozaru. "Too bad they will all have passed this place by since it is so well hidden, and you will forever lead the life of a laundress until you die, which will be soon if your kingdom crumbles and Tentei is tired of waiting for your return." Youko suddenly felt very angry.

"Aozaru, if I die such a mundane little death you'd be so bored. Wouldn't it be better if you continued to torment me back in Kimpa and laughed at all my little mistakes for an eternity? That is our destiny, after all," rebuked Youko. The monkey had no trivial response to this remark.

"For once, you stupid monkey, make yourself useful. Find Suiguu to tell them all where I am!" she ordered. The monkey looked a little surprised, and then faded away and she awoke with a start. She felt hot all over and wondered if she had a fever. Touching her forehead, she realized that she might.

She had seen the monkey so many times at night while sleeping. For the first time, she actually recalled the dream she had of the monkey, as if he had actually been right there in front of her, conversing with her. Unfortunately, she didn't understand the conversation at all. It was as if her subconscious was still aware of who she was, but wouldn't share it with her conscious mind. Or, perhaps she was going crazy from the internal bleeding of her head wound. She really couldn't tell.

* * *

Comment: Oops, more fluffiness in the next chapter; be forewarned and stop here if you are anti-fluff. I'm making this up as I go along and I still don't know how it's going to end…But the fluffiness just flowed out of my fingertips, like magic...Oooooo... –Kero. 


	7. Chapter Six: Tadaima

**Chapter Six**

"I distinctly remember forgetting that."

--Clara Barton (1821 – 1912)

* * *

Stumbling over the campgrounds, passing the snores coming from troupe members' tents, especially that of Koutetsu's, Youko headed toward the brook with a washcloth. Some cold water for her forehead and face would help with her fever. The light from the stars and the silver gleam of the half moon was bright enough to illuminate her path. When she reached the softly bubbling brook, she stretched, yawned and dipped the cloth into the water. She watched as the little currents twisted and turned until it disappeared into the darkness. Youko felt internally conflicted and cheerless. If she could remember who she was, she might regret it afterward. If she did not remember, she feared this would bring grief to all who knew her and cared for her.

From across the way on the other side of the bank, Youko suddenly gasped when she thought she saw the hint of blue fur. _Now I'm hallucinating about that blue monkey even when awake?_ she asked herself. Walking alongside the brook over the smooth gray stones lining the ground she tried to get a better look. Youko heard nothing but the sound of the babbling water. She walked out into a clearing where the water poured into freshwater pool. There was nothing there.

"Either I'm going crazy, or you're really out there! Come out!" she called. A moment of silence followed, with no response.

"Stupid monkey," sighed Youko.

But when she glanced over into the pool, Youko thought she saw the reflection of something white and glowing. It was not the moon. It had four legs and a beautiful mane of white-blond hair and a flowing tail of wispy waves of the same color. Youko suddenly looked up and saw a tall man in black with beautiful features and similar blond hair flowing down his back. Standing atop a large cluster of rocks, he was staring at her as if in disbelief that he should find her there. He had followed the sound of her memorable voice as he was searching for her in the forest. When she saw him, his presence was so familiar to her that she thought her heart would burst with happiness.

"Do I--," she started as she got up. She didn't even notice that the washcloth had fallen to the ground. "--know you?" she breathed. He gracefully jumped down from the rocky ledge and walked soundlessly over the pebbled bank toward her. The sight of him was so beautiful to her that she felt as though she would start to weep.

"Shu-jou," he said. His face was filled with relief and worry. "Do you not know who I am?" There was something about his soft voice his features that warmed her spirit. She walked closer to him and touched his silky hair. Leaning closer toward him, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of ocean breeze.

"I cannot recall your name, but I feel as though we are bound to one another," she whispered. "Yours is the scent that that lingers in the morning right before I wake." There was a slight, uncomfortable pause.

"Were we lovers?" she asked timidly as she gazed into his violet eyes. His eyes went wide and he blushed deeply. "No, that's not it," she continued, thinking aloud. "That was some other dream I had, with other people in it…It was beautiful though…a sad dream." She looked down at her feet, "To tell the truth, I'm really quite confused. I have no idea who you are."

"Shu-jou," had said quietly. She looked up and saw pity in his eyes. Youko smiled reassuringly.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" she asked.

"Because that is who you are," he responded wistfully.

"You know," she began, sensing his remorse and guilt almost intuitively, and wanting to make it better. "There is no need to feel sorry for me. I've enjoyed myself since I've forgotten who I am. I am confused but I also feel free of some overwhelming burden that lies just beyond the horizon--something that threatens to catch up with me soon. If I stay with you long enough, I know you will help me remember everything. I remember dreaming about you every night, though I don't remember what you were trying to tell me."

"It would not be the first time you did not heed me," he said wryly. "Forgive me, Shu-jou, but we must hasten. My shirei have told me that youman are still searching for you nearby. We will fight them if necessary but you should return to where Kantai and the others in your personal guard are waiting. I will tell Jyuusaku and Hankyou to retrieve Suzu and Shoukei to attend to you," said Keiki gently. He offered her his hand. She looked back at him and could not hide her disappointment fast enough as she looked down again. It was almost painful to look at his beautiful face with such an expression.

"I guess I can't stay here and remain a laundress then, eh?" she smiled weakly. "I rather enjoyed it." Keiki gently placed a hand to her face and made her look at him again, shaking his head with a faint trace of a smile came and left his lips. He then bent down to touch his forehead to hers.

"You must remember your destiny," he replied. His eyes and forehead began to glow.

Youko's eyes went wide as Keiki undid the bonds that held her memory. In an whirlwind of pictures and images that played through her mind like a fast forwarding movie, she was again aware of who she was, and what had transpired since she came to the land of the Twelve Kingdoms from Wa. Her head was spinning so fast, she thought that she was going to faint. For a brief moment, Keiki also saw what had happened to her since she disappeared. It pained him deeply to know that his Queen had been treated so miserably. But Youko pulled away before he could see anymore of her thoughts.

"Shu-jou," he whispered in a trembling voice. "Forgive me for being so useless to you when you needed me most." She felt tears in her eyes and started to fall towards him as her balance failed her. Keiki caught her as she began losing consciousness.

"_Tadaima_," she whispered in her native tongue, and began a deep, restful sleep.

"Onee-san! What's the matter?" cried Gyoukuyou suddenly, rushing over to the sleeping queen who was carried by Keiki's winged Nyoukai.

"She is only sleeping, little one," responded Keiki. He transformed into his kirin form and then carried his queen on his back.

"Are you taking her home?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," responded Keiki. "We thank you for your hospitality on behalf of our Queen." The other troupe members, faltering between sleep and reality, also came to the brook after hearing Gyoukuyou's voice.

"Chu-Yoshi san?" asked Koutetsu, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times to realize that their adopted laundress was surrounded by three very large youman. Before they knew what was happening, they saw the beautiful kirin and his shirei take away their sleeping Queen. The members of the troupe knelt down in respect and prayed to Tentei to bless their "Chu-Yoshi."

000

Youko awoke to the familiar surroundings of the inside of her royal tent. A fresh bowl of rose scented water was set beside her on a sitting stool. A washcloth hanging over the side of the bowl told her that someone had been tending to her fever. She sat up, pushing the heavy silken quilts away from her and realized that her peasant's clothing had been exchanged with clean, white sleeping garments of the softest spun cotton. Youko got out of bed and pulled off a heavily embroidered royal outer robe hanging on a tack nailed into a tent post at her bedside and to drape over her shoulders and keep away the night chill. She looked around and saw Suiguu and Hekisouju sitting on a nearby table, waiting for her.

Youko took up the sword and removed it from the scabbard. The image of Aozaru wavered across the surface of the blade.

"Stupid monkey," smiled Youko. "You finally made yourself useful." The monkey shrugged and disappeared.

Also on the table was a cup of brownish liquid that smelled of boiled medicinal roots. A note, scribbled in Suzu's handwriting ordered that she, "Drink this!" Next to the bowl was a small pot of delicious smelling soup with a note in Shoukei's elegant hand, telling her to "Eat this first." Youko smiled and was warmed to know that her friends had been taking prodigious care of her.

As she sheathed her sword, the tent flap was pushed aside and Keiki came in with an earthenware jar and a small wooden box in his hands. He looked surprised to see her up and about.

"Shu-jou," he said shyly in greeting. Had he known she was awake, he would not have imposed upon her so rudely.

"It's okay, _Miyoushi_-chan," she smiled and put her blade back in her scabbard. He looked at her strangely and set the pot down on the table.

"Mi..you..shi…_chan?" _he asked, with slight indignation at the suffix she used. Youko looked up at him and beamed.

"It finally came to me while I was sleeping," she said. He continued to look at her in a puzzled manner.

"My nickname for you, Keiki," explained Youko. "_Mi _means 'beauty' since you obviously are quite beautiful in your kirin form, but it can also mean 'plum blossom' since you're as pale as its petals; and '_you_' means wandering, since you have that faraway look about you sometimes, and you wandered very far to find me; and "_shi_" can mean man or it can mean child--of which you are both because of your kirin nature. It's not very flattering, I admit, but it's rather pretty." The queen sat down and poured herself and her kirin a cup of tea and gestured for him to sit down.

"Besides, it matches the pronunciation of my name as well. What better way to express that you are my kirin?" she smirked. He sat down with a sigh and began sipping his tea.

"You weren't even given a name before you met me and this had bothered me for a while," said Youko, slipping back into the memory of her stay as Yin's guest.

"Shu-jou?" asked her kirin tentatively. She snapped back to where and when she was and smiled a little.

"Anyway, back in Yin's tower, I promised that if I ever saw you again the first thing I'd do was give you a name," she laughed at herself. "But it's a name that only I can use," she concluded after a pause. "That's really is an odd thing to think about when chained in a dungeon, isn't it?"

Keiki remained silent but his facial features looked rather guilty and despondent.

"I had a lot of experiences when I forgot who I was," said Youko, trying to change the subject. "I'm surprised I can still remember it, but I spent a lot of time doing laundry and thinking about the songs that the troupe were practicing for their performances. I even composed some of my own songs in my native tongue. It was sort of fun. But at night, I kept dreaming about a beautiful white deer and that horrid blue monkey. All roads lead back to you, Keiki. I suppose that's the Will of Tentei?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied. "A kirin and its master will always be drawn towards one another, and both are necessary to uphold the kingdom."

"I did make you a promise, didn't I?" said Youko quietly, rolling the ceramic cup between her palms and spreading its warmth to her hands.

"A promise?" he asked.

"When we crossed the threshold of the sacred circle on Mt. Hou. Do you remember?" she asked.

Keiki thought back to the day of her coronation on Mt. Hou. They were both dressed in their most exquisite of royal robes with the Kei kingdom seal embroidered in gold everywhere. He noticed that Youko had not smiled the entire journey on the flying tortoise Genbu, and her face was constantly reflecting serious thought underneath her elaborate, and heavy, gold head dress. Keiki had wondered if she was regretting her decision already. But when she took the first step toward the dais in the center of the mountain to receive the sacred blessing and the sacred rites from Tentei, she turned back toward him and smiled, offering her hand to him. When he took her hand he remembered feeling very warm and elated. Her emerald gaze met his violet eyes and she had whispered, "_I'll do my best_."

But something seemed to be troubling the Queen now as he sat across from her in the lamplight.

"Is something the matter, Shu-jou?" he asked tentatively. When she didn't respond immediately, he looked down and stared at his tea cup.

"I'm not sure that I can live up to that title by which you always call me," she replied sullenly. "There is nothing 'excellent' or 'majestic' about me. Yin showed me a part of my heart of which I was ashamed. She told me that my fear of this would be my undoing."

Keiki looked at her for a moment quizzically.

"It's all right, Keiki, I'm just thinking aloud. I'm glad to be back with you and the others again. My fear is something I have to battle alone, but I thank you for listening to me," she said with a warm smile. "You may go now. I'd like to rest."

Keiki obediently bowed and got up to leave, but not before he shot a worried glance towards his mistress once, and exited the tent.

Now alone, the queen opened up the wooden box Keiki had brought and saw neatly folded strips of linen. The edges were so clean that she guessed that Keiki had carefully cut each of them for her. Youko took a peek into the earthenware jar on the table and the pungent smell of healing salve filled her nostrils.

"Blech," exclaimed Youko as she took off the bandages on her hands. Her thumbs still felt a little stiff, but some of the salve along with Hekisouju would make her right again by tomorrow. She applied the smelly potion to her thumbs and wrapped them in clean linens from the box. Taking Hekisouju from the hilt of Suiguu, she rolled the orb between her palms, using its warmth to massage and heal the joints in her hands.

"_daisuki na hito dakara ne sobani iru mamotteru_  
(Because I have someone whom I love so much, I'm here by your side, protecting you)

_anata he tsunagaru daichi ni umerete yokatta_"  
(I'm so glad that I was born on this earth that connects me to you)

The song flowed from her heart absently as she let Hekisouju do its work. She decided that whatever was in store for her and her kirin, whatever it was that she felt for her kirin, it would have to remain dormant if she was ever to fulfill her promise to him. The thought of disappointing him was abhorrent to her. She couldn't stand the thought of Keiki being sad or alone anymore and she wanted to protect his innocence. Youko knew that if she accomplished what was expected of her, her kirin would always be by her side, never be lonely, and perhaps someday, she could coach him to smile more and have him call her by her name. The more she thought about it, the warmer she felt. It would have to be enough.

Keiki had suffered a great deal of guilt when You-Ou resigned and chose to end her life to free him of the Shitsudou. He felt that if he somehow could have connected with her on another level, she might have come out of her shell and done better for the country. He felt that he had failed as a kirin, and deserved the Shitsudou. But at the same time he also knew that You-Ou was a foolish woman.

When he first compared the two, they were very much alike. But upon closer acquaintance with the present Queen, he saw that Jyokaku was nothing like Youko, who was strong willed, independent and very intelligent. This Queen possessed a willingness to learn from her mistakes that Jyokaku never had, and therein lay the greatest difference.

Keiki often wondered why Tentei had insisted on his choosing Jyokaku. It would have been more efficient for him to merely wait for Youko. He could only conclude that the experience with Jyokaku prepared him for Youko's arrival. It was Jyokaku after all who had taught him to be more sympathetic to the plight of others. After years of oppression under You-Ou and the previous king, Kei Koku would finally see peaceful times. It was his hope and the hope of the people that this reign would be as prosperous as En Koku and the people would live happily under this Queen who cared so much about them.

As time passed, he realized that he was beginning think of his former mistress less. The present Queen demanded all of his time, whether it was forcing him to read aloud for hours on end all the documents that she couldn't decipher for herself, or whether it was constantly keeping on his toes whenever she gave him a look that made his stony countenance whither.

He could never tell immediately if he had somehow offended her or made her angry with something he said until after she had stormed off and slammed a door in his face. She was lively and restless; more vibrant and visibly brighter than anyone he had ever encountered and a complete handful because of it. On many occasions, the Queen never let him in on when she was going to sneak out of the palace until he saw that she already had one foot out of the gate. Still, regardless of her unorthodox ways, his devotion towards her had grown significantly, without his awareness.

All of these thoughts went through his mind as he stood on the other side of the Queen's tent, listening to the sound of her voice. The words from her song both haunted and moved him as he quietly walked away.

* * *

Author's Notes:

When Youko utters the phrase "stupid monkey," I was wearing a Futurama t-shirt that said, "Stoopid monkey," an inside joke on Gunther. That's how I thought of Aozaru helping out for once.

"_Chu Yoshi_" is the archaic pronunciation of Youko Nakajima, using Japanese to interpret traditional Chinese characters, or kanji. It rhymes with "Miyoushi." (That was unintentional but kind of worked out that way)

_Tadaima_ means, "I'm home/I've returned" in Japanese.

Last verses are from _**Sayonara Solitaire**_, sung by Chiba Saeko, ED theme for **Chr'no Crusade**.


	8. Chapter Seven: Ten Mon

**Chapter Seven**

"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Chesire cat."

--Julian Huxley (1887-1975)

* * *

Youko breathed in the fragrance of the brisk morning air deeply. Most of the soldiers at her camp were still asleep, except for the armed soldiers on guard and lookout duty and the Queen's Guard, who woke early every morning to practice their spear throwing and riding skills. They were the more elite soldiers selected by General Kantai and trained by the minister of the palace guards, Koushou. Their shouts were heard in the distance. Even Shoukei and Suzu were still asleep somewhere in the camp.

Extending her right arm outward with sword in hand, Youko then began her exercise. These moves were taught to her by the Taishi, formerly her elder teacher Enho, who indicated that her predecessor King Tatsu had developed this sword fighting style for Suiguu especially, when he first forged the blade. A long list of warriors had learned the fighting style from the scrolls that Enho had left behind in the royal library. Fortunately for Youko, Enho himself had taken the time to teach it to her, which she concluded was much better than studying it two-dimensionally. It was a steady routine, that taught discipline in the body and strengthened the muscles as well as the purity of meditation. Not having exercised or fought in a while, she knew that she needed her body in top performance for the days ahead. Not only was Yin and Shoukou still at large, Youko wanted to make sure that if she fought, she would not fail.

Her form was swift and graceful as she practiced her swordplay with Suiguu. Its silver blade sung in the air as it cut into nothing, as if it too were pleased with the exercise. The Queen could feel the presence of Jouyuu nearby, who at Her Majesty's request, waited patiently until she needed him again.

He had been ordered by Keiki to keep an eye on the Queen regardless of whether she needed him and Youko had felt the Hinman nearby ever since she returned. She felt that without the Hinman, her bodily actions were still heavy and the exercise was grueling, but this was the only way to test her true limits and not overdo it. She felt neither pain nor fatigue when Jouyuu was in her, which was good in battle, but bad when she couldn't assess how much damage she was doing to her body. Also, in the event that Jouyuu was unable to help her, she would make sure she could defend herself. Youko did not wish to repeat the incident of her capture.

Since her return, she had rested for a few days, and then continued governing _in absentia_ by signing important documents Keiki and the Chousai sent to her, but leaving the rest to them for the time being. A quick letter from Rakushun did express his deep concern for her well being. He was happy that she was all right but hoped for her speedy return. Not wanting to worry him, Youko responded that all was well and left out some of the more exciting parts of her story, such as the torture and the memory loss.

She also wished Rakushun good luck in the upcoming examinations, for which he went to the capital's library on a daily basis to study for. But she did promise a quick return and ordered that they all keep her present plan for battle under wraps with the other ministers. As far as the people and Kei and her government were concerned, she was out in the Northwest Mountain range honing her battle skills by tracking and killing youman who endangered the border towns and villages.

In the stillness of the early morning, her movements flowed like rushing water as she continued to practice, as she set aside all unnecessary thoughts from her mind—especially recollections of her dreams of late, tormented by the blue monkey, bringing unbidden images of Yin and Keiki nonstop.

But now, for the time being, neither thoughts of Yin or her kirin would break her concentration. The sound of the sleeves on her short robes, and her fluttering silk sash ends flying through the air with her fluid movements soothed her spirit, like a form of meditation. She breathed out her chi in short controlled breaths and began the finishing moves of her routine. Her arms extended out horizontally and as she spun out like a top using her legs as a counter balance, and when she stood erect again, she flicked her wrist down and twisted it up in a parry. A sudden sharp pain shot up from her thumb to her elbow and she nearly dropped her sword.

"Ouch!" she cried out, as her finishing move faltered and she stopped practicing. With elbow's out, she raised both hands above her forehead and breathed out her chi slowly to complete the exercise. Youko rubbed her right wrist to work the kinks out.

"_Kei-Ou sama_," said Jouyuu. "_It would be best that you cease practicing for the time being. You have not yet healed completely_."

"I know. But I think even you know that I can't stay at rest for too long," she smiled.

It was then that she realized that they were not alone. She could sense Jouyuu immediately beside her, ready to merge with her at her command, but she held a hand up indicating to wait. Looking out into the forest surrounding the clearing, she saw the familiar face of Kouya in the ever brightening sky.

"We meet again, Kei-Ou sama," he smiled. A cool breeze picked up his raven dark locks and the hems of his clothes fluttered out.

"Kenrou Shinkun sama," she said, clasping her hands together in greeting and bowing from her waist in respect. "I did not think that you and I would see each other again," she added.

"I did say we would meet soon, didn't I?" he asked. "But it seems as though you have not yet healed completely." He removed a brown leather pouch tied to his waist and offered it up to her.

"These herbs were picked from the western side of Mt. Hou, where the wind is calmer. They have amazing healing properties."

"I thank you," said Youko, stepping taking the pouch from him. In this proximity she noticed that he had the scent of a cool, dark forest.

"I apologize earlier for not being able to assist you further with your memory," he remarked.

"Not at all. You were right. It was up to me to figure out who I was. Those words still ring true for me," she smiled ruefully.

"I take it you are practicing for your confrontation?" he asked as he sat down on a nearby rock. "You're not bad, actually. Even without a Hinman, I think you could give a lot of people a run for their money. Young, strong and beautiful is the new Queen of Kei…" he said with an unfathomable look on his countenance. Youko could feel the blood rise to her face and looked away. She wasn't used to being complimented by a god.

"I think Tentei knew what it was doing when it chose you. You may just be the right person to strike Yin down," he added. Kouya took a sip from his flask of water collected from the pools of Mt. Hou and offered some to her.

"Are you saying that you're not sure?" she asked, taking a sip from the leather flask.

"No one knows what Tentei's Will is, not even us. 'Destiny' and 'fate' are such a loosely embodied words. With free will, we are choosing paths for ourselves by the minute. But overall, it is said that Tentei's Will oversees and influences all. So yes, you were chosen by Tentei for many purposes. This could be one of those purposes" said Kouya. "But I do know this. You are a very capable ruler and very capable young woman. No matter what Yin has tempted you with, or what she has shown you, I believe that you will make the choice that is the most just, and the most wise."

"You know of what Yin has said to me?" she asked tentatively, slightly mortified at the thought. She hadn't shared any of the nuances of her discussions with Yin, not even with Shoukei or Suzu.

"No, I don't," smirked Kouya. "But did you want to talk about it?"

"Not in particular," said Youko uncomfortably.

"I didn't think so," he chuckled. "But Yin has a reputation you know. For many years now I've been assigned the task of keeping my eyes on her and if I may, her mode of operation is rather redundant. Shoukou is only one of many pawns she's used to create havoc at her leisure. I'm certain that you knew of your predecessor crowned prior to You-Ou?"

Youko nodded.

"Yin was a beautiful courtesan at the time and her beauty captivated the former king. During the last years of his life, she filled his head with doubts and rumors that eventually drove him mad. How else do you think that a king who had ruled so prosperously for hundreds of years suddenly falters and starts slaying his own people? I wouldn't be surprised if she was also influencing Kou-Ou before he died."

"The king who tried to kill me when I first arrived here?" asked Youko. Kouya nodded.

"How?"

"Yin gets around. You wouldn't have guessed to look at her, but she is a seinin and knows the world very well. She's traveled the world a hundred times over to gage the strengths and weaknesses of each kingdom, doing some damage here and there. How else does a ruler like Kou-Ou of a prospering young nation suddenly turn on another ruler out of mere jealousy? It's not like he had anything to be jealous about, right? Kei was a total mess at the time. I heard you weren't doing too well in the beginning yourself," he added.

"The more a kingdom is in disaster, the more youman can feed on fear and the weak and that makes her my problem. I am under the impression that she has a rare tree that spawns youman. I have no idea how she found it, or how she has learned to cultivate so many ranka. I suppose blood sacrifices are necessary. But now that you have ascended the throne, this is a problem for Yin, who is infiltrating your lands. If she isn't stopped now, she may very well just migrate to Kou and bide her time there if she fails in her latest scheme to kill you. If Kou and Kei are both in disarray, it fits her purposes perfectly. The neighboring kingdoms will feel the effects as well. Where better to start a revolt against Tentei amid some of the unstable kingdoms? She certainly has enough youman. Her forces are many thousands strong now, and that's enough to help her at least get through."

"Really?" asked Youko thoughtfully. That sounds like a bit more than what I expected."

"Which is why I'm here," he smiled. She looked at him for a moment in question and looked around. Then she looked back at him.

"By yourself?" she asked. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and then let out a hearty laugh. Youko furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, still puzzled.

"You wouldn't know it to look at me but I do have a small army of trained youman," he said simply. "I tamed them myself. I usually just employ them to keep watch over things, save the occasional homeless orphan—you know how it is. But they would move against Yin if I asked it of them." Youko was shocked. To look at Kenrou Shinkun was to think, "homeless wanderer," at first glance. She had no idea he was that powerful.

"I guess it just goes to show not to judge a book by its cover," laughed Youko in spite of herself.

"So, where is this Gate of Heaven, then?" she asked.

"Ten-Mon is not a fixed place. This year, I believe it will appear over Kei in a fortnight. Yin has probably anticipated this. No one really knows when it appears and few ever see it. It travels in a pattern over different locations each time on a yearly basis and opens its doors to let in the souls of the dead. Next year, there will be many souls to collect in Tai; and the year after, Kou. This time around, it is collecting the dead from your kingdom, but will not return until it has made its way around again," he explained.

"A traveling gate…who knew?" said Youko, staring up blankly at the blue sky. "What's beyond Ten-Mon?"

"Tentei," he answered simply. "It's like a short cut to the mountain on which He resides. The mountain is too far for any ordinary god to get to, or even climb, let alone Yin."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," said Youko, not really understanding. "But what does she hope to accomplish there? Surely, Tentei is a force that is so strong that she couldn't possibly…"

Kouya merely shrugged. "No one's ever tried this. How better to express your dissatisfaction with the order of the world than by striking against the Creator of the World? No one ever said that gods couldn't go mad," he sighed. "Or die, for that matter."

"Twelve days from now the Gate will appear over the Northwest Mountain range. You will know it when you see it, as you are part goddess yourself. That's where you will find Yin and I will join you there," he said, getting up to leave. "I'm glad to see that you are feeling better," he added. "Back there at the river, I had a mind to take you in myself."

"Thank you for all of your help," said Youko politely, refusing to blush, using her most formal speech, clasping her hands and bowing again as he retreated back to the forest. He waved his hand absently as he disappeared from sight.

Just as he left, she could hear the camp coming back to life behind her. The encampment was beginning to stir. The sun had risen a little higher in the sky now, and Youko raised her eyes to the cerulean blue sky.

"Ten-Mon, huh?" she said to no one in particular. Youko had no idea what Yin could possibly accomplish by raising an army of youman and bringing it to the doorstep of the Creator of All Things. Perhaps the gods were finally tired of Yin and Youko was now their tool to get rid of her once and for all. Though it would be beneficial to her kingdom if Yin was finally stopped, she couldn't help but feel a little used. Now it seemed that not only was her destiny saving Kei from its own destruction, but also saving the world from a wayward goddess. She didn't want to say it but the words, "why" and "me" were on the tip of her tongue. Perhaps it wasn't Tentei's Will to smite things down with lightning bolts but Youko certainly concluded that the other way would be a lot easier for everyone.

"I guess You don't want to make it easy for everyone," she said ruefully, still staring at the sky.

"Youko," said a familiar voice behind her. "What are you looking at?" She turned to see Shoukei and Suzu walking towards her. One had a tray of steaming bowls of rice porridge and another had a warm looking robe for the queen. They were both dressed in simple traveling clothes to blend in to the environment but one any given day at the palace or the capital, they were two of the most highly regarded courtiers of Kei.

"Nothing," responded the queen. "I was just seeing someone off."

"Who?" asked Suzu.

"At this time of day?" asked Shoukei.

"You actually wouldn't believe me if I told you," laughed Youko, taking a bowl of porridge and a spoon.

"Try us," said Suzu. She and her friends then sat cross-legged on a cluster of large boulders eating their porridge as Youko recounted her morning to her friends. It was almost like they were back at Kimpa Palace again, three friends eating together and telling stories.

"I can't believe it. Kenrou Shinkun sama himself," said Shoukei after finishing her breakfast.

"I've only seen him once, but I've never spoken to him before," added Suzu.

"But why you?" asked Shoukei. "Maybe we can enlist the aid of some of another monarch, like En-Ou sama?"

"Not enough time," remarked Suzu. "It does seem rather unfair for Youko, though."

"It's just my luck, I suppose," sighed Youko. "Yin's a threat to Kei and therefore I must eradicate this threat to my kingdom."

"I'm afraid we won't be of much use to you in this department," added Shoukei. As a former princess and then as a servant, she never did learn how to fight.

"That's all right. You two can wait for me here or help me do some damage control back in the capital," suggested the queen. "Make sure all of Shoukou's former liaisons aren't plotting to usurp me while I'm gone. I'm certain that Yin chose Shoukou to replace me. There must be those still in Gyouten who are loyal to him. I need you two to lure them out and corner them. Do you think you can pull it off?" she asked.

"Can we pull it off?" asked Suzu, feigning insult. "You forget, Kei-Ou sama that I have a small army of palace servants at my disposal."

"And I have a small army of the Brotherhood's spies all over the country at my disposal," added Shoukei.

"We won't fail," they concluded with determination in their faces. Youko rolled her eyes and laughed.

000

That night, back in her tent, sitting on her table was a delivery from a messenger consisting of a whole new stack of documents that waited for her perusal and signature.

"It never stops," she sighed. After washing her face and hands and changing into her sleeping robes, Youko rolled up her sleeves and sat down to the task. Each document concerned the local requests from all provinces for funding, permission to rebuild or tear down old government structures, for canals and new irrigation routes, for sandbags for the rainy season and voluminous reports Minister of Law on the ongoing trials of those involved with Shoukou. The other documents reported on everything else; from granary stores to shipping reports, the queen read statistics and analysis on the infrastructure of the kingdom. Everything had to be read and signed. She was still a slow reader, and often had Keiki read the documents for her, but as she practiced more, the words started making more sense on their own.

The night wore on and the sounds of the camp outside became quieter as the soldiers returned to their tents and the officers retired for the night. Youko yawned and stretched after sitting at the table for a few hours and called a servant to refill her teapot with fresh leaves and more hot water. She also sent for a messenger to pack the finished documents for delivery the next morning. Realizing that she was not even halfway through, she peeked into the first document of the next stack and saw that the census for the provinces had finally been finished. In the two years since she had announced herself as the true queen, most of the people on the outskirts of Kei had returned within its borders and registered as citizens of their home country. Not wanting to deal with numbers at this time Youko pushed the rest of those documents aside. She knew that she would have to think about next year's budget for the kingdom with the Chousai and the Taishi later when she returned.

She worked her right wrist around in a circular motion to keep the soreness at bay. Her writing brush wasn't helping her recovering injury. Youko took a sprig of the herb out of the satchel that Kenrou Shinkun sama had given her and stared at it curiously, wondering how she was to make it into a salve and apply it. As she put her chin in one hand and twirling the sprig between her fingers with the other, the queen suddenly blushed at the thought of Kenrou Shinkun sama calling her beautiful.

"You take the bulb and crush the seeds into a fine powder. Then you add oil to turn it into a paste," said Keiki, standing at the entrance. She hadn't even realized that he had come inside.

"Don't you ever knock?" asked Youko, feeling a little irritated at the unannounced presence of her know-it-all kirin.

"But Shu-jou, this is a tent. There's nothing to knock on." he responded simply. Without further adieu, he collected the herbs from the satchel, including the sprig that she was still holding, and commenced to pluck the flower bulbs from the stems and drop them into a bowl.

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

"About the war you are about to wage on an exiled goddess or your lamentable handwriting?" he asked, indicating towards the open document on the table with her scribbled signature.

"How droll. I didn't know you acquired a sense of humor while I was gone," retorted Youko sarcastically. "I was referring to the former not the latter." She paused a bit and added, "You know that's _why_ I have the royal seal with me. They automatically know that it's my signature." Youko waited for a response and watched as he took a stone mortar and pestle from her medicine chest and began to grind the seeds by hand.

"If you're asking for my opinion on our present situation, I don't approve of what I know you are about to do. I'm not certain that this is your responsibility entirely, but it seems you are up to the task. I will send all of my shirei to assist you," he said solemnly. A servant came in with a bowl full of fresh tea leaves and tea pot of boiling water, bowed once and set it on a nearby side table, collected the stack of finished documents to deliver to the messenger, and bowed again before leaving.

After a little bit, she asked him gently, "Keiki, how did you feel about You-Ou?" The pestle ground into the mortar at an odd angle and threatened to spill the herbs over to the side, but caught it just in time. He breathed deeply.

"Why do you ask now, so suddenly?"

"I want to know," she answered simply.

"I gave her my full protection and allegiance as she was my master. I feel the same towards you as you are now my master." He continued to grind the seeds and Youko could not see the expression on his face.

"How did you feel when she told you that she loved you?" Youko asked quietly.

He paused a bit before answering. "I felt helpless as I could not reciprocate her feelings. It is outside the bounds of being a kirin. In hindsight, I wished there was something I could have done or said that could have alleviated her troubles," he answered honestly.

"When I think of her, all I can do is feel sorry for her. But it's not like I don't understand her. It's a fairly normal desire to simply want to be loved. I remember how lonely I was when I first started as Queen," Youko said quietly. "But I suppose as Queen, the love and affection of my people should be enough. Still I wonder, what if it isn't? What happens then?"

"Shu-jou," said Keiki hesitantly.

"What happens when I tire of being Queen of Kei? What happens to any of us who tire of ruling a nation? Do we start ruling badly and blame it on madness until Tentei revokes our rights and afflicts our kirin with the Shitsudou? Why is it that the good-natured kirin must suffer as well for the ruler's incompetence? That doesn't seem half fair. You didn't have a choice when you came into this world as to whether or not you wanted to be a kirin or a regular citizen. You don't have a choice when you choose a ruler. It's either you sense his 'ou-ki' or you don't. Also, the fact that no ruler has a choice when he or she is chosen doesn't seem fair, does it? Either ascend the throne or die. Whatever happened to simply living your life in a way that you see fit?"

"It is a sacrifice that the rulers and kirin must make," responded Keiki quietly.

"I question its necessity. Jyokaku fought it to the very end, but chose to sacrifice her life in exchange that you could live, which I think was her dearest wish. So at the conclusion, she chose how to die," Youko sighed heavily. "Was that part of Tentei's Will too?"

After a moment, she added, "I can't say that I blame her, either. A few centuries of this," she indicated towards the stack of documents she had yet to go through, "would drive anyone mad. But in end when I compare myself to her, who is better off? Her or me? It was a question that I have thought about since I discussed it with Lady Yin."

Keiki was rummaging through the medicine chest for his box of linens. Successful, he then began to dip a few linen strips into the hot water the servants had brought for her tea and then applied the oiled salve onto one side. Youko noticed that the salve set off a scent of fresh grass and morning dew throughout her tent.

"Are you listening?" she asked. Keiki extended his hand out for hers. Rolling up her sleeve she stared at him intently waiting for his response as she placed her hand, palm up, in his.

"Shu-jou," he spoke softly as he carefully wrapped the bandage around her wrist and fingers. Youko was amazed at how pleasant it felt against her skin. "I cannot tell you if you have made the better choice for choosing to live. I cannot say that You-Ou sama made a mistake by choosing to die. I do know that you are a very capable ruler who knows herself well and it would be a loss for the people of Kei to lose your talents." He tucked the ends in neatly when he was finished and folded his hands in his lap as he thought about how to further respond. Youko marveled at how neatly the folds of the bandage were wrapped around her wrist and how Keiki knew exactly where to wrap the salve.

"But for as long as you wish to be ruler of Kei, I will be here by your side. If you should choose another path and cease to be ruler of Kei, then I will also choose to resign as kirin," he said quietly. Youko looked up at him, shocked at his response.

"Keiki," she breathed.

"If all the rulers I choose only die in misery, then I'd rather not have to choose another, if that is what happens to you as well in the end," he responded, his violet gaze meeting her emerald one. Youko could feel the emotion welling up inside of her and she got up and knelt beside him, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his robes.

"Shu-jou!" he exclaimed, shifting uncomfortably.

"_Baka_ kirin," she mumbled as her tears flowed. "Don't say such things." If Keiki could have seen it, there was a warm, grateful smile on his queen's lips. If Youko had looked up, she would have seen the same expression on her kirin's face.

* * *

Author's Note: I didn't feel overly clever when I created my Ten-Mon theory. "_Ten_" means 'sky' and "_mon_" simply means 'door.'

This chapter turned out long, didn't it? Hope you weren't bored. (Please don't forget to take a bathroom break). It's double the size of my usual chapters, but I feel there is no way to cut them until I get to the end, wherever that may be. Ah, more blood and gore next chapter…

--Kero (1/13/07)


	9. Chapter Eight: To Be Without Regret

**Chapter Eight**

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. "

**Sidney J. Harris** 1917 - 1986, American Journalist

* * *

Youko scanned the horizon with her viridian eyes as the Queen's Guard, comprised of nearly a legion of armed riders on flying beasts led by General Kantai, flew over the northern plains of Kei toward the dark peaks of the mountain range that jutted up against the sky like jagged teeth in the twilight. Their royal standards flew tall and proud in the fading night. In the distance, there was the faintest hint of dawn. A few hours earlier, youman in scattered groups had been seen flying over their camp by a scout and the Queen ordered mobilization so as to track them.

The day that Kouya spoke of would come with the next sunrise. In the meantime, the Queen intended to follow the beasts to where they were gathering and strike down Yin at the first chance. She sincerely hoped that with their leader down, the youman would disperse and she would not have to fight them all at once. Regardless, she would try if she had to.

She shot a quick glance to her left, toward a splash of white-gold hair that trailed and danced in the wind. Keiki was riding atop one of his shirei, Hankyou, gliding effortlessly beside the queen's flying horse.

"_The Taiho is concerned for your safety_," said Jouyuu simply. The voice in her head was a thought echoing inside her mind that was not her own. He had been silent for most of the journey and Youko had forgotten he was still inside of her.

"He's just afraid I'm going to do something reckless or stupid," she smiled, focusing forward again.

"_That is probably true as well_," responded the Hinman.

Youko thought back to the conversation she had with her kirin before their force left their camp. She had been conversing with Shoukei and Suzu, both dressed for their journey back to the capital atop a flying tiger, with instructions concerning the delivery of certain letters the Queen had written to the Taishi, the Chousai and Rakushun. It was then that he had interrupted her.

"_Shu-Jou_," he had said in his usual, admonishing tone. Both Suzu and Shoukei exchanged knowing glances, bowed to the Queen and then the Taiho, and gave them some privacy. She had looked at him curiously, wondering what kind of lecture she would receive this time, since he had been quiet the entire duration the servants had readied her with battle attire.

"_I am going with you_." His tone was the usual matter-of-fact timbre, but there was also something there that Youko was surprised to see. His violet eyes did not usually betray such an expression of attachment toward her. In this moment, she realized that in the brief span of time he had served her as kirin, his cold exterior had completely melted away without her really noticing.

"_You hate battles_," she had replied, reflecting his tone. "_And you dislike the smell of me after I fight_."

"_I will watch from a distance, if the battle should begin, and direct my shirei to assist you_."

"_Your shirei can assist me without your direction. Do I need to order you back to Gyouten or remind you of your duties in Ei_? _I'd rather not have to worry about you while I'm on the battlefield,_" she had asked rather callously.

_When you don't know who to blame, you can blame your kirin for putting you on the throne_, Shoryuu had once told her. She was going to fight and rid Kei of these creatures because he could not. This was her task and responsibility as queen, however loathe she was to do it. Keiki was about as useless on the field as a bow without an arrow.

Whenever she was called to fight, Youko noticed that she became more like a solid, realistic military man, as opposed to her usual nonchalant self. She appreciated and was wary of and disgusted with this new side of her personality. The source of her displeasure predominantly stemmed from the fact that she had honed this side of herself through grueling, self-taught survival tactics for months on end, near the edge of Death's abyss in the period when she first arrived at the Twelve Kingdoms, and without the protection of her kirin. Back in her old world, he had promised to protect her but disappeared; and after she finally met him again he had barely uttered an apology for her trouble and his absence.

Though she knew that her kirin must be the most understated of all living creatures in this world, there was a little resentment Youko harbored that he had dragged her away so quickly, and without her consent--though not entirely his fault—and she left without even a simple 'goodbye' to her home and family, only to travel through Hell and back.

Her journey thus far had been one of self discovery, but that did not mean that she entirely liked who she had become. When she killed, she was cold, detached and calculating. Survival was her utmost priority and blood, gore, and the taking of lives no longer sickened her. In her old life, within the skin of her old sensibilities, she would have called herself, _oni_.

"_I am going_," he had said again, as resolute as ever. _Since when was he so attached to me?_ Youko had thought to herself. _Does he feel guilty that I am always forced to fight alone? Does he think I'm going to destroy the kingdom somehow? _She felt a twinge of an unfamiliar emotion when she saw the hard resolve in his stare. Kirin can be such stubborn creatures. _His calling me obstinate is like the pot calling the kettle black, _Youko had said to herself when she looked away and adjusted the saddle onto her horse.

_And yet, he is so dear to me…_

Rokuta had once told her that a kirin was most attached to its first master. When there comes a time that a kirin may have a second master, strong attachments to the former cannot be severed completely. The kirin symbolized the throne of the kingdom by the Will of Tentei, and the queen was married to the throne of the kingdom; and so it was as if the kirin and ruler were married to one another, and their children were the people. As her dreams tormented her more and more in the days awaiting the arrival of Ten-Mon, Youko found herself resenting the fact that she was not his first lord. A small part of her felt that if she had been his first and only lord, his demeanor towards her would have been softer. In a vision that Suiguu had recently shown her pictured Jyuusaku busy at a loom in a small cottage. You-Ou was dressed in less formal but still royal regalia, humming a tuneless song as she watched her loom move back and forth across the wool. In a doorway stood Keiki, watching her work. The expression in his eyes were a mix of adoration and compassion. Youko rarely saw such an expression directed towards herself.

All the while, as she tightened the straps on her horse's saddle and bridle, she thought of Lady Yin's words that her feelings would be her undoing. She didn't know what to say to Keiki at that point, not with that look on his face. This was not the same face that had once told her, "_It would be better if you abdicated_," when they had first met. To abdicate meant official resignation of the throne and subsequent death inevitably followed. It was a cruel thing to say to someone when meeting them for the first time.

But since the Wa Province Rebellion, and during those times when he traveled with her, his softer, more compassionate side would be open to her. Part of Youko wanted to prove to Keiki that she was not the same as You-Ou. She wanted him to believe in her and be proud of the second ruler he chose. In that, she also found herself avoiding him and struggled with the desperate need to not end up like that other pair in her vision. Even now, as she rode her flying steed towards an uncertain dawn, it was so.

"_Do as you like_," she had responded at that time, unable to look him in the eye and proceeded to lead her horse to water. She wanted to get the ordeal over with as quickly as possible, and go back to her inner sanctum in the palace to sort out the feelings that clouded her. Even if she defeated Yin this day, her feelings would remain to torment her. If only she had never met Keiki; if only she had time to cultivate some short-lived romance in Hourai, she may not have found herself in this predicament now. If only she could go back and do everything over again… For the past few days, these were the thoughts tormenting her as she slept, and the moment when she woke.

Being the Royal Kei was a challenge that Rakushun rightly said could help her become a better person in the end. If she stayed her course with The Way, the Will of Tentei would protect her and let her kingdom flourish. Her only regret now was that she could not undo the harm she had done to her relationships back in Hourai; and she had thrown away all opportunities to create meaningful ones. Not to mention, she never said goodbye to her parents…

Youko still remembered remnants of that old life; what it felt like to study into the night with her earphones playing the latest L'arc en Ciel CD she had secretly purchased with her allowance, to put on her uniform in the morning as if in itself was some sacred ritual, to argue with her parents about the strict upbringing they were imposing on her and buying her favorite vanilla cream soda at the corner store. She remembered what it was like to be normal. Worrying about her placement exam seemed like such a trivial thing now... Any given morning in her past, she would have woken up and contemplated how she was going to conquer the next exam. This morning, Youko, dressed head to toe in armor, would be taking down a wayward goddess who had tried to behead and crucify her. It was an interesting and amusing paradox.

Youko's problems in Hourai were small and petty in comparison, and yet ignorance was truly bliss. She still wished…

Her attention was brought back to the reality of her current situation when she heard one in the ranks of Captain Doumon shout out the alarm. Overhead, a black mass hovered over the Royal Army. She squinted her eyes and saw that the black mass was spiraling down toward them in hundreds of dark ringlets dangling from the sky.

"Kouchou!" shouted the other soldiers. Youko drew her sword and felt Jouyuu tensing her body for a melee.

"Kaikou," ordered the Queen as she unfastened the shield from her saddle strap. Soft white angel feathers were suddenly by her side, floating as if undisturbed by the winds at these altitudes.

"_At your command_," responded the Nyoukai faithfully.

"Escort the Taiho to a safe distance," she said as she fastened the clasp of her helmet. He shot a worried look in her direction.

"Don't worry. I won't forget to bathe afterward," she called out to him with a little grin that she kept to herself and led the charge upward toward the descending enemy. In the corner of her eye she saw the pale glint of Kaikou's wings as she and the kirin moved away. Hankyou and Hyouki immediately approached unbidden and flanked her. As Keiki drifted away from the main group their eyes locked in a moment when both feared they would not see one another ever again.

"The courageous will find victory! For the love of Kei, we will fight the devil Yin and we will prevail!" she shouted as her battle cry. A spray of arrows from her mounted archers on either side whistled into the air, aimed at targets above them. Several demon birds dropped out of the sky like heavy fathered rocks as they plummeted toward the ground below. Then, the two groups met and clashed with a loud clamor of metal against beak, talon against flesh, shouts against caws. Her sword pierced through the feathers and flesh of an oncoming kouchou, and as others tried to grab her or her horse with their razor sharp talons, Keiki's shirei would push, claw, bite and barrel them away from their intended target. The two dispatched of the kouchou's quickly and were flanking the Queen once more in a matter of seconds.

Now quite the experienced fighter, she hacked and slashed through muscle, sinew and bone at will, without regard of any of the pain she was inflicting, without remorse for any of her actions. The battlefield was a place to hone one's skill sand indulge in the bloodlust. She was actually enjoying herself.

"_Quite the killer aren't you_? _You nasty little_ oni," she thought she heard Aozaru snicker in her mind.

Her concentration was suddenly interrupted by an alarming sound. Among the melee of battling beasts and humans and youman, Youko thought she heard someone cry out behind her. She turned to see that a youman had collided with her Captain of the Guard, Doumon, and taken his sword arm into its beak. Doumon had managed to pierce its eye with a dagger and it was faltering from its wound as it plummeted further downward and crashed into the tree line below. But the captain's horse had taken on a mortal wound from the bird's talons and it too was starting to go down.

"Hankyou!" she called out. Immediately, the shirei scooped the captain onto its back and headed downward to where the field medics had retreated. Youko slashed off a leg of another kouchou and Hyouki bit into its neck, severing a vital artery. A spray of blood washed over her. Youko hastily wiped her face with a sleeve, and that was when she noticed Yin, a few li away, riding atop a massive kouchou that seemed older and stronger than any of the others she had fought thus far.

"Kantai!" she shouted as she spurred her horse toward her target. General Kantai followed the queen on his mount and raised his broadsword with the rest of the Queen's Guard flanking them both. A handful of kouchou immediately flew in between them. With one waive of his long broadsword Kantai knocked all but one of them out of the sky. Youko flew past it and slashed its throat open. Another spray of blood washed over her and this time, it blinded her momentarily. She could taste the bitterness of the dying youman on her lips.

"_Heikka! Open your eyes!"_ shouted Jouyuu in her mind. Right then, Youko opened her eyes and saw Yin coming at her with a long, jagged spear. The Queen raised her shield arm and blocked it just in time. With Suiguu, she chopped at the spear and cracked it in half. Yin used what was left of her spear and made to strike down on Youko's head. Again, the Queen raised her shield and blocked it.

"Give up, and I'll let you die quietly," said Youko under her breath. A pitiless red glint shone in Youko's eyes as her Hinman prepared to make another move.

"Big words, little Queen," snarled Yin. Her kouchou pulled back and gave out a mighty cry. At that point, hundreds and thousands of youman sprang up from their hiding places in the forest below. Youko looked down and knew that her Royal Army would be overrun. Yin's direct target was not the Royal Kei at this moment.

"Kei-Ou sama!" came the cry of a familiar voice. From the west a dark line of flying youman with the appearance of griffins came in between the Royal Army and the rising swarm of Yin's main force. Youko saw that it was Kouya. She could hear the crush of beak and bone mixed in with the cries and growls in the great clash of youman below her. They swarmed against each other in the dim morning light, like a black tide that pushed and spilled against itself every which way. From her position, she could not tell how many of her soldiers had fallen. She had not the time to grieve for the dead.

Just then, as the Queen moved to maneuver her mount through the maze of flying youman and strike at Yin once more, a sudden flash of light appeared higher up in the sky. Its sudden appearance was accompanied by the sound of a vibrant, loud, almost metallic clash, like that of a heavenly gong or bell. It was at first a small flash but it appeared to widen and grow with every second. It fluxed and opened as if it were being forced wider and a golden glow shot downward into the night sky. The wind picked up and leaves, debris and dust were spiraling upward into the light. Youko thought she heard the wind moan. Thousands of glowing white orbs, no larger than a human fist floated upward from the ground below.

"_The souls of the dead are departing the land_," said Jouyuu in her head. There are so many, thought Youko to herself. She looked up towards their destination. Beyond the circle of light, Youko could see nothing but brilliant white. It was as if that portion of the sky had been erased, and what was behind the sky was a canvas of nothing.

"Tentei!" screamed Yin as she ordered her kouchou higher toward the light. Youko followed suit and urged her mount to follow them. Youko raced to cut her off and saw that a swarm of various youman were racing up after their mistress. If Youko did not cut off Yin's charge and quickly move out of the way, she would be overcome by the surge of youman she was on a collision course with. She spurred her horse faster. At the corner of her eye, she saw that General Kantai was immediately at her side. She heard Kouya's voice on the other. She knew that Hyouki and Hankyou were right behind her again, galloping at an even pace with her steed.

_What the hell does she hope to accomplish?_ thought Youko to herself hastily in pursuit.

"Youko! You should turn around and devise a better strategy than charging head on!" said Kouya from her left.

"I have no idea who this guy is, but I'm with him!" called out Kantai from her right. "Wasn't our primary purpose to dispose of the youman that hunt down our people?"

"I'm not going to let her get away!" shouted Youko. "She will continue tormenting others as long as there is breath in her!" _I'm not going to regret killing her,_ thought Youko to herself. The gods exist among mortals in this world and no one ever asks the gods for aid. One could not count on the gods, not even Tentei, to dispose of Yin. People rely on their ruler to protect them. Kei-ou was their personal god. For the people of Kei, The Royal Kei would make sure that Yin could not do more harm in their lifetime. The Queen spurred her mount to go faster.

Then it happened. The bright gateway in the sky fluctuated as Yin flew right into it, as if her intrusion had caused a giant ripple effect in the sky, and Ten-Mon sent a pulse wave of energy in all directions. When it reached Youko, it was as though all of the air around her had been sucked away, and huge pressure was building up against her chest as if someone had leveled her with a wooden beam as her full speed charge was brought to a sudden halt. Youko found it difficult to breathe and the wind was knocked right out of her. Her mount started to rear in mid air and she felt the grip of her legs around the horse's middle loosen.

"_Heik_--!" started Jouyuu, but his voice was suddenly cut off, as if he had been purged out of her. She suddenly found herself alone in the sky, as Kantai, Kouya, Hyouki and Hankyou were also gone, as if suddenly swept away by an invisible hand.

Everything else was moving as if in slow motion. In that pulse of energy, time, speed and sound did not exist. Nearby Youko saw that the hoard of youman charging at Ten-Mon had also been swatted away, as if pushed aside by the same, powerful invisible hand. She sincerely hoped her friends were all right.

Youko looked up and saw that Yin had been completely absorbed into the nothingness beyond the Gate. There wasn't a trace of her left. Youko didn't get to her in time, but then, what exactly happened to Yin? As she puzzled over the possiblities, time began to move again. As if someone had wound up the mechanism of the world once more, the sound returned and became a deafening roar of thunder rolling through the sky. The gateway began to close.

"Youko, get away from there!" she heard Kouya cry out from somewhere below her. But it was too late, everything within the nearby vicinity of the Gate was being sucked into it. Gusts of wind blew upward toward her pushing her and her mount closer to the light. Her grip of the saddle suddenly jerked free and Youko found herself spiraling upward alone, her horse ripped away from her in another direction. At an alarming speed of acceleration, scattered youman and pieces of youman, tree branches and glowing white orbs were being pulled into the void. Evidently, everything else that had initially been pushed away when the Gate opened had no way of getting any closer. It was as if an invisible gate had divided the air, and you were either on the side that couldn't get any closer, or the side that was too close.

_Am I going to die?_ Youko thought to herself. There was still so much that she wanted to do. In that brief moment of thought, she felt that Tentei was extremely unfair. She had neither fulfilled her wishes in Hourai, nor her wishes in Kei; and now it was all suddenly going to end. As she whirled about feet first toward the light and was pulled into Ten-Mon as if being sucked into some upside-down drain, she saw a splash of orange hue from the rising sun, and green foliage from the forest that sparkled with its first rays, and the blue twilight that was being pushed back in her spiraling ascent. Youko quietly said goodbye to her adopted world.

"_Keiki_," she thought she said aloud and felt the name shape her lips, but the roar behind her was enveloping her now and Youko couldn't hear anything else. "_Sorry_." Youko wanted to tell him to not commit _seppuku_ if he found her lifeless body on the field somewhere below the sky and to go ahead and choose another ruler…perhaps a wiser one. _If only there was someway to tell him_. She felt as though she were gasping for her last breaths of air.

The brilliant nothingness surrounded and folded over her as she passed into the Gate. The light was seeping into everything and bleaching everything, even her vision. Her bronzed skin, her flaming red hair, her body; it was all disappearing. "_Keiki_!!" she cried out as the fear of turning into nothing gripped her tightly, but could no longer tell if she had a voice, or even a mouth. Just before her vision was completely absorbed by the brightness, she thought she saw the familiar tint of violet eyes staring back at her just before the blinding light absorbed even her sight.

"Youko!" The voice felt so distant as if calling her from afar, echoing and reverberating through a chasm to reach her ears. Whose voice was that? Where had she heard it before? It was gone. Then, there was another voice that followed the first. It was clearer, much angrier and more threatening. It sounded authoritative and male.

"Nakajima Youko!" it called out again, definitely angry and impatient. She opened her eyes with a start.

Youko blinked several times until her vision cleared. In front of her was a chalkboard. She looked down and found that she was sitting at a school desk, wearing a school uniform. _Yes, _she thought_. This is my uniform._ She recognized the way that she tied the red bow at the center of her chest, right below the school emblem. Youko looked up and saw her English teacher scowling down at her. She gulped and touched her face. It was warm and slightly imprinted with the folds and texture of her sleeve; as if she had been sleeping on her arm for a while. Youko looked around and saw the familiar faces of her old classmates, all snickering at her, as usual. She looked up at her teacher again and the confusion finally set in, visibly spreading across her face.

"Nakajima-san," said Mr. Yamada. "Please stay behind after class. We need to talk about your social habits that seem to deprive you of sleep at night, so much so that you manage to even sleep through one of my thrilling lectures," he said sarcastically. Mr. Yamada gave one last scowl at her and then turned back toward the chalkboard.

The last period bell chimed, echoing through the halls and empty courtyard of the school. That was her cue, as it always had been. Youko, the ever diligent class president, automatically rose first at the sound, as if she had been programmed to do so since birth.

"Stand!" she called out to her fellow classmates. The words were spoken in her native Japanese, but they felt so foreign on her tongue. The students got up in unison.

"Bow!" she ordered, and they bowed to their teacher and started packing their things to leave, all the while shooting peculiar and snide glances her way. Outside, the autumn air was cool and still. There was barely a leaf on the branches on the the maple tree standing just beyond the window's glass barrier.

* * *

Comments: I'm still not thrilled about this chapter. I've been writing and re-writing it and I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across...Hmmm... Please R&R. --Kero (last updated: 2/28/07) 


	10. Chapter Nine: Flower in the Rain

**Chapter Nine**

"We are never further from what we wish than when we believe that we have what we wished for."

--**Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (**1749-1832), German Poet, Dramatist, Novelist

* * *

_What the hell is going on_? Youko thought as she walked out of the school's front gate and down the street in the direction that she knew lead home. The sun was setting and cast long shadows sideways against everything. Her footfalls were slow and steady and the sound of the rubber soles of her shoes against the pavement was something she had not heard in a long time.

Nothing had changed here. It was as if she had never left, and her _kamikakushi_ journey had never begun. But her memory of Kei remained, and though this was a place she had once called home, she felt like a stranger among the familiar surroundings. She turned the corner and saw the shop where she had always frequented for a cream soda. Youko reached into her pocket where she knew there were be a few coins to purchase a drink and a snack before turning a second corner down her street. Sure enough, the money was there.

Wordlessly, she put a few coins down on the counter, and the owner went through the usual motions of taking the change, counting it carefully, and handing her favorite cold fizzy drink in a slender blue-green glass bottle.

"Hai, irasshai!" he said in his familiar Osaka-ben and grinned. Youko bowed politely and popped open the lid. She took several gulps of what she thought was the best tasting vanilla cream soda in all the world. How she had missed it!

"If this is only a dream, then let me savor this flavor and remember it forever," she sighed.

"Mou ippon, onegaishimas," she said, asking for another. She slipped this one into her book bag. _For later, maybe_, she thought to herself. Youko continued to walk down her street, past the public park where children were dwindling and lagging behind as their mothers called them away. This familiar sight at sunset brought some nostalgia to her. Her footfalls quickened towards home.

As she approached her front gate of her two story home, she took a deep breath. Some of the lights were on. Her father's car had not yet returned from work, but she thought she saw the shadow of her housewife mother pass one of the windows. This was the place she had returned to at the end of each day for the first sixteen years of her life. She pushed the iron gate open. Just then, the porch light came on, as it did every evening at that hour. Youko was a bit startled as the door opened and her mother peered outside.

"Youko dear, you're home," smiled her mom. "I was wondering where you had gone," her mother said absently as she tossed a bag of garbage out towards the driveway for her father to put into the bin when he came back. Youko rushed over and hugged her birth mother. The comforting sensation that washed over her was something she was loathe to forget. Her mother still carried the familiar scent of Youko's childhood.

"Youko, what's gotten into you?" she asked, rather astonished at her daughter's sudden clinging. Her mom looked at her daughter's hair and clucked her tongue.

"Didn't I tell you to dye it the other day?" she frowned. "Now the neighbors are going to start talking again. If you don't behave, your father's going to give you a hard time about this." Youko pulled her single braid towards her face and examined it. The color of her hair was darker now and not the flaming red it had been in Kei, though it still had a slightly auburn tinge.

"Sorry mom," said Youko automatically. "I forgot." Her mother let her inside and closed the door, keeping the night chill out. Youko had come back home.

The first thing she did after she put away her book bag was take a bath. The single bath upstairs was just big enough for one, and she filled it nearly to the rim and sank down completely into the hot water, until completely submerged. Though she was clean before, she had the distinct urge to bathe thoroughly, as if the layers of sweat and youman blood were still somehow lingering about her. When Youko surfaced, she exhaled forcefully, as if releasing everything that had to do with Kei. She thought the water had a slight tinge of pink in it, but when she blinked, it was clear again.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked herself quietly. Her voice gently bounced off the ceramic tiled walls and floor. Part of her was expecting to wake up any moment and find herself lying somewhere in the grassy field below this morning's battle. Another part of her wondered if this was some sort of second chance. What had happened to Yin and the others? Had she really returned home? Was her body still somewhere beyond Ten-Mon or lying dead on a field somewhere below? These thoughts kept pestering her relentlessly as she sat in silence.

When she got out of the bath finally, since she was getting kind of wrinkly, she thought she heard her dad's voice. Her mother called her downstairs for dinner. When Youko opened the bathroom door, a flood of steam rushed out into the hall, for a minute, she thought the shape resembled Jouyuu. But it wasn't. She was alone here.

Youko paused to inhale the faint scent of steamed rice, minced pork sauteed in soy sauce and onions and vegetable curry. She hurried and changed into a simple brown wool skirt that buttoned up on the side, and a pale yellow sweater over a clean white blouse. Slipping on knee high socks, she wriggled her feet into her soft and fuzzy bunny slippers and rushed downstairs. Stomach grumbling, she felt as though she could eat her entire dinner portion in one gulp.

"Youko," said her father as she entered the dining room. "I got a call from your teacher today asking if you had any nighttime activities that made you fall asleep in class. What an odd call. Did you fall asleep in class?" he asked sternly.

"Yes, father," she replied simply as she sat down at her place at the table.

"Don't you get enough sleep at home?" he asked. "There were negative intonations in Mr. Yamada's voice."

"I don't know what came over me," she responded. After a long pause, she added, "But if Mr. Yamada is questioning my character, then you know that I've been nothing if not a good and obedient daughter. I usually go to bed at the same time as you, every night, you know that. You believe in me, don't you Father?" She looked her father straight in the eye. It was something that she had never done before. She had never stood up for herself with her father.

"Youko, what's come over you?" asked her mother, setting the tray of rice bowls down, rather astonished at her daughter's outburst. He just looked at her with a puzzled look on his brow. She looked at him so earnestly that he was compelled to respond.

"Y-yes, Youko. I do know that you try to be a good girl," he said hesitantly. Youko knew that he had absolutely no faith in her.

"Maintaining appearances doesn't always work, Father," she insisted, not wanting to let it go. "People tend to talk about you behind your back regardless."

Her father didn't know what to make of that comment, and merely said, "Eat the dinner that your mom prepared."

Youko picked up her black chopsticks and stared at the design at her fingertips. A gold dragon on a purple backdrop stared back at her . It looked very much like her royal banner—so much so that she almost dropped them back onto the table.

"You like them?" asked her mother. "I bought them at the market today. Isn't the dragon pattern pretty?" Youko nodded and tried not to stare at them too intently as to be obvious, so she resorted to shovel rice and curry into her mouth. The family settled down and started eating in silence.

"Dad, mom," she said after a while. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter what people say about me…" she hesitated. Her parents were both looking at her as if she was going crazy. Their daughter had never been such a chatterbox at the table.

"You have to believe that I would never purposefully do anything to harm either of you. I respect the both of you and appreciate that you've raised me this far."

"Youko, are you feeling alright?" asked her mother, mouth agape.

"Are you involved with the _yakuza_ or something?" asked her father suspiciously.

"No, nothing like that," she responded faithfully. "I just wanted to voice my gratitude, that's all. Even though you've raised me rather strictly."

"It's for your own good," grumbled her father. "You'll appreciate it when you're older. A girl's reputation is not something to be taken lightly."

"Don't you think her actions should speak for themselves, Father?" she asked. "People will talk of her, suspect her, and gossip about her, but her actions are what should determine her character. Reputation is meaningless if what people say isn't true," she affirmed.

"She will drag her family down in her disgrace if she does not behave properly and normally," he answered sternly, putting his chopsticks down.

"What's 'proper,' Father? What's 'normal?' Whose standards should she live by? Others? Her own? What if those are only unproven rumors not facts that people use against her? What if she's never done anything to provoke or lend one shred of credibility to other people's beliefes about her? Won't her family stand by her side?" she asked, again, looking her father in the eye. It was he who looked away. _Or do I stand alone, here…? _she asked herself.

"I have no idea what you're getting at, but this conversation is getting tiresome," he responded.

"You've _never_ believed in me. You've always held me back. You've always wanted a boy, didn't you?" smiled Youko ruefully. He looked up at her without an answer.

"It's okay," she said, folding her hands in front of her and looking down into her lap. "I care about you both no matter what. Because that's what 'family' is." Youko looked at both of her parents and forced a smile to her lips. "Thanks for dinner," she said as she collected her dishes and put them in the sink, and then turned to go quietly back to her room.

Sitting on her bed with her back against the wall, where familiar books, stuffed animals and posters surrounded her, Youko stared blankly at her desk. Time was moving painfully slow here. She hugged her pillow closer. Her radio played some new pop tune she didn't recognize. Outside she could hear it starting to rain. The taps of the droplets on the sidewalk outside and against the rooftop above lulled her into deeper thoughts.

She ignored the pile of homework waiting for her. There was also a cream soda buried somewhere in her bag that she had forgotten to put in the refrigerator. Her green desk lamp glowed eerily in her room, not contributing to any warm, comfortable atmosphere. This is what she wanted, wasn't it? To have a second chance to change her relationships back home?

It was in that quiet reflection that she realized that even though she had changed her character for the better, other people in this world had not changed. Her relationships here would not change as other people would not change their opinions of her. Not her doubting parents, and not her snickering classmates. Her newfound personality was foreign to them and would only drive them further away. She had always been alone here, after all.

"And now a song by request," said the disk jockey over the radio. "to all those lonely hearts out there, this one is for you." The introduction of the solo guitar played gently into her quiet room.

_Mizu tamari no naka o kumo ga oyoide yuku _(Clouds swim within the puddles)  
_oroshita bakari no RAIN COAT _(A brand-new rain coat.)  
_Harajyuku wa nichi yo akai BENCH no ue _(On a red bench in Harajyuku on Sunday)  
_shizukani hohoemu koibito tachi _(lovers smile calmly)

Youko's thoughts melted into the melody, towards a soft summer afternoon after the rain in the inner palace. She had just finished another very grueling lesson with the Taishi and headed outside the main door to stretch and relax after sitting and concentrating for so long. Thankfully, there would be no pop quizzes or tests on the subject of inter-kingdom relations because she wasn't paying attention for that part of the lecture. She was dressed in royal attire that resembled something of a yukata, as it was made of thin fabric, but it was still many layered and rather cumbersome. By her request, it was much plainer than most of her other royal attire and her handmaidens dutifully obeyed their Queen's request to "not be an eyesore today."

It was there at the entryway that she inadvertently collided with her kirin, who was walking across the hall, having completed his provincial duties. She was so taken aback that she lost her footing, and managed to wedge a heel of her slipper into the train of her robes, and started to fall backward. Keiki moved surprisingly quickly, and caught her hand just in time, pulling her right again. He had admonished her for not looking where she was going, and she recalled she just laughed at her own lack of grace.

_anemone no hanaga yurete hitoshizuku mizu otosu_ (An anemone flower shakes and a drop of water falls)  
_hozueo tsuitamama watashi wa hitori miteru _(and I am watching it, while resting my cheeks in my hands)  
_watashi no naka no chikyuu toki o oshimu yoni yukuri yukuri mawatte yuku _(My world is turning so slowly that I regret time)

The lonely lyrics turned her mind towards the friends she had left behind. They all helped her and believed in her the same way she would for them. Though their friendship had not been kindled long, she felt as though she had always known them. What would they think about her absence?

Youko's thoughts then drifted to one late spring night that she, Rokuta, Shoukei, Rakushun, and Shoryuu were up playing a card game at Gen-ei Palace under a canopy of stars in one of the palace's many garden pagodas. The loser of each round had to drink a shot of rice wine. Only an hour into it, Suzu had passed out on the lounge chair nearby, having lost five rounds in a row. Rokuta was barely keeping his eyes open, having lost four rounds intermittently. Shoukei and Shoryuu were still going strong despite their losses, though both their faces were bright red with intoxication. Youko remembered that her head felt extremely tipsy at the time but she was refusing to admit defeat, especially to the mouse. Rakushun had not lost once. Amid the laughter and the giggling and the feigned shouts of foul play directed towards a certain fuzzy mouse, Keiki had stirred from his bed, as his guest chamber was nearest to the garden.

Shoryuu and Rokuta only laughed harder when Keiki started to scorn the Royal Kei for such undignified behavior. Her head had been too muddled to make any witty comebacks and she remembered being led away by her kirin, or rather, her kirin supported her as she stumbled in the dim light back to her royal guest apartments.

_dareka to itaikedo daretomo itakunai _(I want to be with somebody, but I don't want to be with anyone)  
_ne naze kokkoro wa kimagurenano _(Why is the heart capricious like this?)

The rain outside started to come down harder, and she heard her parents in their bedroom, turning in for the night. Tomorrow would be another day. Another day of the same thing. Another day of the same unmendable relationships. Another simple day for an unextraordinary girl. She took her red scarf and yellow raincoat out of her closet.

_ame no hi no hanano yoni na moshiranu hana no yoni_ (Like a flower on a rainy day, like a flower who's name I don't even know)  
_hageshiku soshite yowaku saiteitaito omou _(strongly and softly, I want to bloom)

She pocketed her cream soda and quietly stole downstairs. By the door leaning against the wall was her mother's pinstriped umbrella. Youko desperately wanted some fresh air. The oppression of her old life was becoming too much to bear. A few moments later, the front door was locked shut again and a pair of rain boots had been removed from the shoe rack, while the rest of the household was fast asleep. _Kei-Ou sama has safely escaped without incident_, she wryly thought to herself.

Once before she had made a similar escape from Kimpa Palace on a rainy night shortly before the Autumn Harvest Festival. Without a sound, she snuck out right under the guard's notice. There was a food stand in Gyouten, Ei Province, right below the towering mountain where the palace sat, that sold hot noodles that looked very much like those made in Hourai. It had made her nostalgic for the soba noodles her mother used to make. Traveling in her carriage a few days prior, she noticed that noodle shop but did not have the opportunity to taste anything. Her ministers riding with her would have advised sternly against eating such "common food," but in the end, the Royal Kei ended up sitting in the rain under the covered food stall with strangers, slurping noodles like an old pro. She felt very lucky that the stall owner was open late. The Queen eventually stole back into the palace the same way she had left.

_mizu tamari no naka o kumo ga oyoide yuku_ (Clouds swim within the puddles,)_  
yukuri yukuri kiete yuku _(slowly, slowly, disappearing.)

Youko wandered aimlessly underneath the yellow lamp lights at first. The sound of her slushy footfalls in the puddles was something of a comfort to her. It had suddenly felt unnatural staying at her parents' house, but out here in the open, in the wet darkness, she felt a bit more at ease. She was different from the person she used to be two years ago when she left Hourai. That Youko could not be found now, for she had died in the forests of Kou. This Youko, walking between the rain under a purple sky, was the evolved version of herself. She suddenly realized that she never felt more alone here than she did now.

_watashi no naka no chikyuu toki o  
shimu yoni yukuri yukuri kawate yuku _(My world is changing so slowly that I regret this time.)

"I guess all I really wanted to do here was say goodbye," she said sullenly to herself. "This 'normal' life was never mine to keep."

Youko found herself standing in front of the public park on her street again. The area was deserted now and the only sound was that of raindrops pelting the metal surface of the play equipment. The chains of the swings creaked slightly as the wind blew through them. She squinted her eyes to adjust to the dim lamplight.

She was not alone here.

A few yards away, standing in the rain in a dark trench coat was a tall, lonely figure of slender build staring at the lamplight. A pair of wayward moths were flapping helplessly around the lamp, attracted to the light and hopelessly looking for shelter from the rain. The figure's long, flaxen hair was weighed down and its color dulled by the rainwater, but there was no mistake. It was him.

Keiki turned around and looked at her in surprise. She was equally taken aback to see him standing there.

"Shu-jou!" he exclaimed, his face brightened a bit despite the worried look on his brow. He rushed over to her.

"Keiki?" she said, still in shock. His sudden presence confirmed it all. Those two years spent on the 'other side' had not been a dream, after all. Those memories she had played in her head alone in room were hers, in spite of everything. Deep inside, she knew her experiences in Kou and Kei had forged her character into who she was now. By all accounts, she was grateful. In that moment when she saw her kirin again, she let go of her regrets.

_Life is part happiness, part sorrow_, said Suzu's voice in her head.

He was immediately at her side.

"Shu-jou!" he exclaimed again. His violet eyes told her that he was happy to see her. She silently raised the umbrella over his head to keep him from getting wetter, and wondered at the futility of the gesture since he was already drenched as it was. "All roads really do lead back to you," was all she could say to her pitiful looking kirin.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. But I don't remember my way around this place," he said, almost apologetically. "My powers seem to be muted here, and none of my shirei could follow me." He seemed rather frustrated at his sudden lack of ability.

"How did you get here?" she asked incredulously. "And why are you all wet?"

"I followed you into the Gate," he responded. "And I didn't bring an umbrella." Youko laughed a little at his ever frank and honest answers. She looked at him and recalled that she had seen his eyes right before she lost consciousness.

"So that _was_ you after all," she stated, rather amazed. He was, after all, the fastest creature in creation. "I thought I had gone through The Gate alone. Why--?" she asked.

"Because I heard you call me," he said. There was such a sincere look in his face that she couldn't help but smile.

"Where the hell are we?" she asked bluntly.

"We seem to be back in Wa. Your prior home."

Her thoughts were interrupted by another presence at the park. The malevolence emanating from the dark corner of the park, where one light was broken, made her hair stand on end. Keiki tensed and moved to stand in front of Youko protectively. Youko could see who it was. The umbrella dropped to the floor and rolled to one side.

She barely recognized Yin dressed in common Hourai clothing. The out of place goddess wore a long denim skirt buttoned up front, and a long loosely fitting sweater that was splattered with a dark substance at the side. Youko presumed it to be blood.

"I doubt that the woman you stole those clothes from is still alive," grumbled Youko. Yin ignored her and walked a few steps closer into the light. Youko could tell by her adversary's angry and confused look that she was every bit as surprised to find herself in Japan as Youko was.

"Your disregard for life really ceases to astonish," said Youko simply.

"Spare me the lecture," said Yin, slinging her broken spear over one shoulder. The expatriate goddess looked around her surroundings, as if disgusted with what she saw.

"When I raised my spear against Tentei, I cursed the Will of Tentei with all my might for creating a world with strict rules where goddesses aren't free to live as they please. Celibacy and fasting and praying and 'helping others.' To _hell_ with that. I wanted more," she said, getting more livid by the moment. "I wanted to _be_ Tentei. I wanted to create a world of individual freedom where I could do anything."

"So he sent you to my old world," mused Youko.

"A world of noxious fumes and moving horseless vehicles and tall buildings of stone and glowing pictures that move. This world is insane," she muttered.

"There I was, regretting that I had never said goodbye to my friends and my parents, only to find that I truly had no friends here and my parents didn't need me. The Will of Tentei is truly ironic," said Youko with a bitter laugh.

"Irony doesn't describe it. It's just plain cruel!" shouted Yin. She raised her spear head and pointed it at Youko. "I think it was you that brought me here. Somehow you transported us here so that you could fulfill _your_ selfish wishes," she said, with death in her eyes. "So it begs the question: If I kill you, will I be sent back? Regardless, I think I shall take pleasure in the deed."

"Now you're not making any sense at all. Don't you understand? _THIS_ is what you wanted. This is a world of individual freedom, where you are whatever you make of yourself, and your life is whatever you make of it. Nothing is pre-planned. You have freedom to live and love as you please. You had desires on the other side that could not be fulfilled there. So Tentei brought you here." Youko stepped back and reached for her sword, only to remember that she didn't have it. She wasn't armed at all. Then, Keiki turned around and presented Suiguu to her, taken from the folds of his trench coat.

"Where did you--?" she started.

"I had it when I woke up here," he responded.

She smiled wryly, firmly taking the sword into her hand and looking him straight in the eye. "Please stand back." He bowed and got out of the way.

Youko drew Suiguu's blade and a small grin touched the corner of her mouth when she heard the familiar 'ting' of the blade resonate within her. She may not have her Hinman, but she did have her trusty sword. It would have to do.

"I take it you don't want to assimilate, then?" she asked, partly in taunt.

"I don't even understand the language here!" Yin shouted, charging first. Youko blocked and parried with a little trouble, but managed to do so quickly and retreat backwards. She had never had to fight without Jouyuu's help, and being in a real fight without him was a bit more difficult. She gave Yin a heave, and the goddess stumbled back.

"I guess you've been stripped of your rank and your seinin abilities, then. Part of Tentei's punishment, I suppose?" asked Youko. If she could rile her opponent enough, Youko was certain that Yin would make a mistake. She was already so visibly disturbed.

"Why is it that you retain your ability to understand me, you upstart little brat? It isn't fair!" retorted Yin, nearly snarling, lunging forward again to strike at Youko's heart. This too was parried and Youko spun around and sliced in comeback. Yin blocked, also having some difficulty maneuvering herself, and jumped back again out of reach from the arc of Youko's swing.

"It seems pretty fair to me," responded Youko simply. "I mean, you can go through the same experiences I went through when I arrived in Kou, and live your life, however long it is with your status revoked, at the bottom. No one here will care about you. But, maybe the owner of the market on the corner will let you sell his soda."

Youko was the first to charge this time, as quickly as she could with sword held steady with both hands at chest height, ready to run her through. Yin managed to block the attack once more, but Youko leaned into her opponent's blade swing, and rammed into Yin with a shoulder.

Yin was surprised at the double attack, and as she braced for impact, she accidentally stepped into the sand pit with one foot and lost her balance, falling backwards into the wet sand. Youko knocked the weapon out of her hand and the broken spear went flying. It landed with a loud clatter on the sidewalk on the other side of the jungle gym. Suiguu's blade moved straight for Yin's neck but stopped before drawing blood.

"So, kill me then," Yin panted, looking away. "I cannot continue to live like this."

"Nothing would give me greater pleasure. I can pay you back ten-fold for the trouble you have caused me," said Youko bleakly, sorely tempted to chop off the goddess' head right then and there. As she debated this, Suiguu's blade cut a thin red line against Yin's alabaster neck. Keiki walked over to her and put a hand on his Queen's shoulder.

"Shu-jou," he said softly, "She is defeated. Tentei has brought her to justice. To seek vengeance now would soil your hands unnecessarily."

"The ever compassionate kirin," sneered Yin. "Tentei's favorite creature, above even the gods. How ironic that he made you a half beast. Even in spite of that, how even more ironic that two queens have now fallen in love with you."

Youko felt Keiki's hand remove itself from her shoulder, but her kirin said nothing. The Queen ground her teeth together, but could not say anything in her own defense.

"Too ashamed to respond, little Queen?" laughed Yin. "It would be best if you killed yourself after you kill me and put us both out of our misery."

Youko looked Yin straight in the eye. "I have no desire to be so merciful to you," Youko responded calmly, ready to sheathe her sword.

"Then you are a fool, and I will at least die in the manner of my choosing!" spat Yin, rushing towards the sword with hands outstretched. Before Youko could pull back the blade, Yin drove her neck into it, dragged her skin across and severing an artery. A spray of blood spouted forth, dousing both Youko and her kirin before they could dodge it. Yin crumpled to the floor. The Queen watched in silence as the goddess shuddered and gasped her last. Yin's bloodied hands clutched the sand in angry fists, her tortured expression bitter to the very end, before her body finally lay still. The scene stirred no reserve of pity in Youko's heart who watched unflinching as the rain washed the blood off her yellow raincoat. With a graceful arc, Youko flung the blood off the blade and sheathed it.

"So it ends," she said unfeelingly towards her fallen opponent. She turned to Keiki.

"Keiki, are you all right?" Youko asked, arms outstretched to catch him if he fell. Her kirin always withered seeing a drop of blood, let alone a shower of it.

"Shu-jou," he responded weakly, sinking to his knees. Keiki's vision started to blur and Youko knew he was about to blackout any moment. Without the strength from Jouyuu, there was no way for her to carry him back to the house. Youko reached over for her umbrella and held it over his head, which she positioned carefully in her lap. She gently brushed his hair aside and twisted it to the front to keep it from getting dirty on the rain sodden ground.

They stayed like that for a long while, Queen and kirin, amid the shower of the sky's tears, in the soft pale glow of the lamplight.

* * *

**Author's Notes**:

_Kamikakushi_: is a term that means to be "spirited away"

_Osaka-ben_ is an accent from those raised in Osaka. If you've ever heard it, it's very wierd (In a cute way!) Kero nervously awaits hate mail from Osaka natives…

_Hai, irrasshai_: means 'welcome.'

You know what _yakuza_ is, right? C'mon, you don't watch enough anime if you don't know this one.

Yo, check out my new painting of Youko (from Chapter 1) on my website.

Lyrics are from the song, **Ame no Hi no Hana Youni** (Like the Flower in the Rain), written and sung by Naomi Tamura, translated by "Mizura", **Magic Knight Rayearth** Image Album. Yeah, this chapter turned into a songfic. So sue me. I like songfics. –Kero (1/19/07).


	11. Chapter Ten: The Choice

**Chapter Ten**

"…I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference."

--**Robert Frost** (1874 - 1963), excerpt from _The Road Not Taken_

* * *

Keiki was having a rather difficult time. After he had passed through the Gate, he attempted to reach the Queen in time to pull her back through. He called out her name. Her real name. She did not respond.

The Gate closed behind him, and somehow he woke up in an alleyway resting on piles of bagged rubbish in the fast paced world of Wa. He soon realized that his powers had left him mysteriously and none of his shirei were responding to his summons. Keiki wandered the streets with a sullen expression as passers by whispered and pointed awkwardly at his pale skin and golden hair and odd clothing. Walking down a crowded street under the growing gloom of rain clouds, a gentleman hailing a cab looked at him and gave him his raincoat, saying that Keiki needed it more than he did. He had retained his understanding of languages, but knew that no one could help him here. Of utmost importance was finding the Queen. But where was he to start? Looking around at the tall buildings, flashing billboards and moving vehicles, he realized that he was lost.

Walking past the young people passing out fliers on the street, he thought he noticed students wearing the same uniform that she had been wearing the first time they met. He traced the direction where they were coming from, generally, passing by the ice cream shop, the arcade, the bookstore, the curio shop and eventually found the school where he had first tracked his Queen. But it appeared that their classes were finished for the day and the campus was nearly empty. He did not sense her presence there but still he waited until dark, not knowing what else to do. Surely she would be there again tomorrow…

But then the weather went from cold to cold _and_ wet. He was meandering a bit aimlessly when it started to rain, taking shelter under the canopy of a roadside vendor of soba noodles. A little grin touched the corner of his lips when he thought of that one time she had snuck out of the Palace to Gyouten below the clouds to eat at a similar establishment in town. Unseen, he had followed his lord and master just to make sure she was safe. After eating a hearty meal of two large bowls of noodles and a plate of pickled radish and leeks she let out a hearty sigh of contentment. He kept his distance and did not berate her for the unannounced and unauthorized detour down the mountain, but waited patiently in the dark with his shirei tagging along in the shadows.

"_Her Highness does eat a lot_," Jyuusaku had remarked.

"_Perhaps the palace food is not to her liking_?" asked Kaikou thoughtfully.

"_Lady Suzu is also from Wa. Perhaps she can help the palace cooks with this dilemma_," suggested Hankyou. They all agreed and quietly followed their master trailing behind the Queen back to Kimpa Palace, who was none the wiser that her kirin and his entire entourage of shirei were spying on her. Keiki recalled that the Queen was indeed delighted the next night when she was served with soba-like noodles, roasted seaweed and grilled fish at dinner, prepared at Lady Suzu's instructions.

He smiled in his reverie until the noodle stand owner shooed him away. Miserably lost and getting wetter by the minute in the rain, he stopped by a park where he recalled he had seen children playing once before. He knew that she walked passed this area to go to school. Keiki sensed that she had been there recently as well. In the empty dark, he waited for a sign. A pair of fluttering moths then drew his attention. They were hovering by the warm lamp, seeking shelter. Keiki felt sorry for them as they appeared lost and out of place in the wet weather, just like him and his Queen. He had wished so hard to find her but suddenly he realized that it was _she_ who had found _him_.

She looked at him with such a puzzled stare, but her eyes had not forgotten him this time. His heart skipped with excitement as he went to her. He had never felt so useless in his life, and he had never been so happy to see anyone. Somehow, he knew she would figure something out. Keiki believed in her.

"_At the very least, I need you to believe in me, Keiki."_

In the first year after her coronation, she was struggling with her duties and her role as Queen. Everyone in Kei had secretly hoped for a king this time, not having had much good fortune vis-à-vis You-Ou. When Tentei delivered Sekishi all the ministers doubted her ability as a monarch. In her frustration, she had asked him to believe in her. Youko practically demanded it. She didn't care who else believed in her at that point, but he must never doubt her. After that, his faith in her became a steady reserve. Despite her failings, despite the situation, the Queen always pulled through somehow.

He just sometimes wanted her to be less reckless or at least warn him before she was going to attempt something reckless that would inevitably make him worry. Where You-Ou dared to do nothing, Youko dared everything.

Keiki shuddered from the cold. He knew he had collapsed after Yin's suicide but he could not rouse himself to open his eyes. The blood of one who took her own life had a stale, miserable air to it and it weighed down his spirit. He was sorry if this caused trouble for Youko, who most likely could not carry him anywhere. In his mind he thought he saw himself lying on the pavement amid the dim light, his head cradled in his master's lap as she held an umbrella over him to shield his face from the rain. Her expression was inscrutable and silent.

_Shu-jou_, he thought. _Youko.._.

Youko gently shifted position, trying not to not disturb her sleeping kirin. Trying her best to wipe whatever blood remained on his face with her scarf, she knew that he really needed a change of clothes and bed rest to counter the effect that blood had on him. The tapping of raindrops against her large umbrella was the only sound she heard as she watched his slow, steady breathing. With the back of her hand, she felt his warm cheek and hoped he was not coming down with a fever. _Or maybe the Shitsudou_? Youko brushed the thought to the corner of her mind, though it still nagged her from there. If she did not return to her throne…

Pondering these heavy thoughts, she thought she heard someone approach. _Now what?_ she groaned inwardly. She peered past the soft lamplight, through the sheets of rain coming down in front of her, and saw a small figure walking towards them. When he finally came into the light, she saw that it was an old man with a long, immaculate white beard that almost touched the ground. It would have been longer but for the fact he had tied it curiously in the middle in an elaborate knot. He was wearing an archaic looking straw hat, like those often worn by rice patty field laborers in the sun, but bigger and grassier, and a cloak of woven straw to keep dry. Regardless, the rain seemed to fall everywhere but on him, as if to avoid wetting him.

"Youko," the old man said, inclining his head slightly in greeting. Inadvertently she inclined her head in response.

"And you are…?" she asked cautiously. Her surroundings suddenly wavered and blurred, as if a bucket of turpentine had been spilled all around on the painted backdrop. She was again suddenly blinded by a familiar white light that absorbed the blur of colors that was her old world and closed her eyes to protect herself from it, all the while holding Keiki closer to her so as to not lose him.

When Youko opened her eyes again, she saw that she was in a large, open garden. Around her were flowers both familiar to her and unfamiliar. Most could be found in Japan as well as Kei, but never together. Looking up, she saw a pale blue sky and she closed the umbrella she was holding over her head, putting it aside. She looked at the old man again, still dressed in his old straw getup. He took off his hat and cloak and put them on a stone bench beside him, looked at her and gave her a wide grin. His beard had been untied and now it trailed in a snowy white pile at his feet.

"I am the Creator of many things," he said simply. Youko felt her jaw drop and tried not to gape too long as the full meaning of his statement sunk in. _So this is…the Creator… of…It's an old man…_ Her thoughts jumbled and tripped over each other as she tried to comprehend what was happening. She wanted to speak, but found that she did not have anything particularly important to say

"You may speak your mind to me, Youko," said the old man, gently. "I took this form because I thought it would invite a conversation and be less threatening for you. I supposed I could have appeared to you as a large, disembodied head that spouts green fire, but that would have been a little too gaudy." He sat down on the bench beside his hat and stared at her, waiting for her to speak. "I suppose I could also turn into an old woman, if that would be more comforting," he helpfully suggested.

"Tentei…sama," was all she could manage for the time being.

He laughed heartily. "That is what they call me." They stared at one another for a long moment.

"Was I really in Japan, then?" she asked, looking down and realizing she was still dressed in her raincoat.

"It was as real as anything else is, I suppose," he answered.

"Why was I there?" she asked.

"Well, I thought since you had made such an effort to stop Yin, and considering everything else you had gone through since you first came to this world, I thought, 'Why not?' and sent you over."

Youko thought his answer was so cryptic as to leave her as puzzled as she was before her question. She ran a hand through her hair and noticed that it was again, its bright, cherry red tint.

"That is the color it was meant to be. I admit I got a little creative with it. You will find that no one else in all Twelve Kingdoms has the exact shade as yours," he smiled. Youko knew that this was the Creator of the world, though she wasn't sure what his relationship was with the famed 'other' creator of her old world, or if perhaps they were the same. She was never so religious as to study any lines of theology, though her traditional family did observe some Shinto practices. Still, she couldn't really say that she believed in God, or whatever. "Tentei" really could have been a giant, disembodied head to her, since no one had ever seen the Creator of the Twelve Kingdoms, or come back to tell about it.

Yet, here was this little old man, speaking to her; saying that he had created her and used artistic license with the color of her hair. It boggled the mind.

"When three souls came through my front Gate, who were not by any means dead, it drew my attention. All three souls had desires--wishes if you will. Dead souls that pass through my Gate all have the same single desire to be at peace. But living souls have very complicated desires. So on a whim, I thought to grant them _all_," he explained in a matter-of-fact tone.

_A wish to live in a world of personal freedom… _

_A wish to mend the past…_

"Keiki had a wish?" she asked.

"To be with you and make sure you were all right," he responded.

"Oh."

"I sympathize with you, Youko. You deserve at least a choice. I felt it unfortunate that you could not be brought back sooner to ascend your throne. It would have saved you the trouble with Kou-Ou," he sighed.

"Was that…unplanned?" she asked tentatively.

He nodded wearily. "Though I created the Twelve Kingdoms with a sense of what it should be, and what it had to be in order to function properly, I let it all loose to see if the mechanism I had installed into it was operational. It ran smoothly for a long time. Then one day, I look away to work on my garden and then it all went to hell," he frowned.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I let my children do what they think is best for themselves. They have free will. They rely on their own abilities and the system itself is also self-reliant. But with free will, since no one wants to create a world of automatons--except maybe in Hourai--there are some unexpected variables, to say the least," he sighed. The old man ran a hand through his downy white, gossamer hair.

"Next thing I know, there are civil wars brewing in every kingdom among the Seinin, some of the immortals lost their way to corruption and this took a toll on the mortals. Seinin have tendencies to become evil with time, though not all of them do.

Even my gods were not acting as they should. After all, Yin was the first goddess to defy my Will. She even found a way to cultivate ranka from a youman bearing tree. My kings were becoming jealous of one another. Kou-Ou was the first to ever attempt to take the life of another chosen ruler. Even my model kingdom, Ryuu, standing proud for twelve hundred years, is failing. Hou-Ou being overtaken by revolution, was beheaded by a wiser man who scarified his own soul to save the people. I did not choose him, though. Tai-Ou and Taiki disappearing at the same time—all quite unheard of in the grand scheme, I daresay. Queens and kirin falling in love with one another…you know the rest." He waved a hand dismissively to end the list of disappointments. "It really questions the usefulness of the entire system all together."

He sighed and got up. His simple white robes woven with silver and gold embroidery trailed the ground. His clothes had the appearance of being very old but not dirty. She doubted that he ever washed it. She concluded that dirt and rain equally avoided him.

"That was not your Will, either?" she asked carefully. Though she was asking the question on general terms, there was that last part in particular that she wanted to ask about.

"Of course not," he said in return. "My Will has only been marginally operational since the creation of the basic structure. The chaos is self-contrived by my creations." He looked at her thoughtfully and added, "Though I _did_ make it so the ruler and kirin would be extremely attached to one another… This promotes harmony in their relationship and in ruling the kingdom. They are the embodiment of yin and yang, moon and sun. It is only natural that they are intuitively connected and are attracted to one another, although not necessarily romantically. Still, it works better if the ruler was not already mated. Three's a crowd and all that… Only with this balance can a kingdom truly flourish. If the ruler is strong and wise, my mortal children will be happy. If not, they will perish or suffer and a new ruler with the same potential will be chosen by the kirin, if still alive. The deaths of my mortal children would be followed by new ranka from parents in times of flourishing prosperity elsewhere. The population balances and fluctuates backward and forward like the flow of the tide. So the system is to work--supposedly."

"I see," responded Youko.

"But to answer that other question that still lingers in your heart, I believe Keiki would have liked you regardless of whether you were Queen or not," added the old man. He looked down upon Keiki's still sleeping form. "I know also that my most understated kirin holds you in higher esteem now more than ever, and you are more dear to him than anyone who has crossed his path in life. You seem to have won him over at last. He can be _so_ stubborn," he chuckled.

Youko couldn't help but chuckle with him. "So what shall I do now?" she asked in earnest, looking around at the flowers surrounding her.

"I had great expectations for you in Kei, Youko. But I cannot deprive you of your free will nor deny a choice to you as you have truly earned it. I daresay that no single ruler has suffered such unexpected trials as you have. For that, I am sorry," he said sympathetically.

"I have a choice?" she asked.

"You can remain a Queen if you'd like. Or would you prefer to be made a goddess of the kaikyaku and hanjyuu outcasts? You seem to have a way with them and can offer your protection over them. Or perhaps you want to return to Hourai? I can bypass you and choose another ruler to replace you. Your kirin will not suffer the Shitsudou, nor will you die early. I am giving you the opportunity to reject the throne, mend your relationships back home, or create new ones and a life of your own over there. You can live your life as you see fit, have children and raise them if you like. It can be as though you never left, just like it was when you returned this time. Everyone here will forget you, as if you had never come to our shores." Tentei explained the process slowly and evenly, so that she fully understood what would happen.

"Will I remember them?" she asked.

"If you wish," he responded.

"And who will replace me? Will he or she succeed in rebuilding the kingdom?"

"Are you concerned that I will choose unwisely?" smiled Tentei. "I consider each candidate equally, and I only choose those with potential. Whether they choose to hone that potential or squander it is not for me to say."

"Then there's no guarantee?" she asked.

"There is never a guarantee to anything Youko. You know that."

Youko thought long and hard. She did not realize that in her deep contemplation, she was gently stroking her kirin's mane of long, golden hair. "He once told me," she said finally, "that if his next chosen ruler should again fail, he would rather die than live to choose another."

"That too, is possible," said the old man gently. "I'm afraid I may have to grow another kirin for Kei on Mt. Hou."

"The choice is unfair," said Youko ruefully. "You let me keep my attachment to my kirin and ask me to make a choice that could harm him."

"Are you saying that I am unfair?" asked the old man, raising an eyebrow. "I only made sure that your decision was well informed, this time around. I also made it so that you could walk away from this with as little or as much guilt as you choose. My choice for your replacement will come almost immediately. The people of Kei will not suffer from further natural disasters on top of what they have suffered thus far."

He added after some more thought, "I can rewind the scene back two years, when Jyoei claims the throne for herself, and I will make Kourin suffer the Shitsudou so quickly that Kou-Ou will be unable to interfere, if you'd like. Your replacement need not suffer the same hardships that you did at that time. That was the way it was supposed to go, anyhow. As a parting gift to you, I may choose to take Yin out of the equation completely before that. What your replacement chooses to do or not do is up to him or her at that point."

Tentei got up and walked over to where she was, still struggling with her choice, and put a gentle hand on her head, accompanied with a tender smile.

"You are the most unique of all my rulers thus far, and Keiki is among the favorites of all my dear kirin. Although I admit that En-Ou is a close second to you and Taiki is just so cute," the old man chuckled again. "But, I digress. You have survived all of the most horrendous ordeals others have thrown in your path, and you have flourished under adversity. You died and rose again, twice now. The Red Child is much akin to the phoenix, burning brightly as she emerges from the embers of her trials. I have no doubt that if you so chose, your reign can last many, many years, and though the pace of progress is slow now, with patience it can outshine almost all other kingdoms, second only to En Kokku. To you alone I will allow a choice: to bear this responsibility or not. I deem that you are at least worthy of this."

"Must I decide now?" she asked hesitantly. Tentei's smile broadened.

"I think you already know your answer," he rebuked gently.

She sighed. "Very well, then," Youko responded. "Please send me back." Tentei looked knowingly at her and the world once again went white.

000

Youko woke lying on a blanket of grass. She sat up and stared at her hands. She was clutching her cream soda rather desperately and the force of her grip was tiring. Her throat felt sore and dry, as if she had been talking for days. She was thirsty. Loosening her grasp, she looked at it intently and wanted to drink it.

Youko looked down at her muddy, bloody armor and smiled. _Okaiirinasai, Youko_, she thought to herself. Further away from her, amid a patch of flowers growing on part of the grassy field she could see a hint of golden hair gleaming bright under the noonday sun. Her kirin had returned with her as well. She looked up and saw that the color of the sky was the same pale blue it had been in Tentei's garden.

Youko squinted at the faint black dots moving around in the sky. They were too big to be birds. As they descended, she saw that one of them was Kouya, riding atop his favorite youman. He landed on the ground first, hastily dismounted and walked over to her, concern for her well being clearly written on his face.

"You have the look of one who has been enlightened," he said with a slight chuckle as he examined her. "Care to share your experience?"

"He told me to keep it under wraps," smiled Youko mischievously, brushing a lock of red hair behind her ears.

"Figures Tentei would say something like that," responded Kouya somewhat disgruntled. He looked over to where Keiki was stirring and then looked back at Youko. "I'm glad you're both safe. What of Yin?" he asked.

"Dead," she said quietly.

"Well, that saves me the trouble. I'm going to go ahead and see if I can discover Yin's tower and base, and that tree I told you about before that I suspect she's been cultivating her youman with. I can almost feel its presence nearby. I'll be sure to keep it hidden away from any further discovery if I do find it. I'll let you know if I need your help again." Kouya looked at the shiny bottle in her hand.

"And that is…?" he asked.

"A souvenir," she smiled. He laughed and gave her a slight bow before he mounted his youman.

"That's it? You're leaving?" she asked, rather disappointed. She had hoped he would share some of his knowledge about Tentei with her.

He looked back at her with a wry grin. "We should have tea sometime, Kei-Ou sama."

She mirrored his grin and remarked, "If you run into _him_, tell him he can have my umbrella." They flew away as quickly and silently as when they arrived. His warm smile stayed with her, even when he was long gone.

"Youko?" said a familiar, and somewhat unsteady voice. She looked and saw that Keiki had sat up, and was looking around as if completely lost and puzzled as to how he returned here. He caught sight of her and attempted to get up. His shirei were immediately at his side, helping him up and dusting him off.

"What did you call me?" asked Youko, astonished. She got up, walked up close to him and stared at her kirin intently. He stared back at her and turned a little pink at his realization.

"S-Shu-jou," he stammered in reply. She laughed in response, which only turned his cheeks into a darker shade of pink in his mortification.

"_I believe he called you by your name, Kei-Ou sama_," said Kaikou, holding a hand to her face to hide her smile. Keiki shot his shirei a dark look and they all bowed their heads apologetically. Youko knew that they were all hiding their grins.

"You and I may be friends yet, Miyoushi, my _baka_ kirin," she smiled.

"Shu-jou?" he asked questioningly.

Looking up, she saw that Kantai and the Queen's Guard were also descending to where she was. They immediately dismounted and knelt before her.

"Kei-Ou sama," said Kantai in his relief.

"It's good to be back, General," she smiled.

"Back?" asked the general, slightly puzzled.

"Never mind," Youko said, catching herself. "Yin is disposed of and Kouya will take down her tower. I presume the Royal Army succeeded in disposing of the other wayward youman in this vicinity?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," responded Kantai faithfully.

"Casualties?" she asked carefully.

"Less than a fourth," he answered. She allowed herself a sigh. That was still hundreds of men.

"And Doumon?"

"He'll live," Kantai smiled. Kei-Ou breathed a sigh of relief.

"And what of our friend Shoukou?"

"Captured and awaiting your disposal," said the general.

"Escaping from prison and harboring treasonous intent to kill and overthrow a ruler is punishable by death, immediately enforceable by the ruler without a trial. If Suzu does not mind, I'd rather we accomplish this here, and bury him here, in an unmarked ditch. I suppose her only regret would be that she couldn't kill him herself. But I'd rather not have her stain her hands with this traitor's blood," she said in a steely voice. "I've already revoked his Seinin status and spent too much effort to retrieve him. He's already served his purpose in bringing out the other main players connected to the Wa Province Rebellion. So you can behead him, push him off a cliff, drop him from a great distance in the sky or shoot him full of arrows--I don't really care which." She paused. "Those are just suggestions," she added thoughtfully. "Feel free to be creative."

"Yes, Your Majesty," he responded. He looked at the curious bottle she held in one hand. "May I…" he started hesitantly. "Inquire as to where you've been Your Majesty?"

"No, you may not," Youko replied with a smile. "That will be all, General. Please stand up, Kantai. You know how I hate it when people stand on ceremony overly long," she said. "Tell the others that we are packing up and leaving this place. We will return to Gyouten immediately. Someone find me a fast mount—I want to return as quickly as possible," ordered the Queen. "I could sure use a thorough soak." Youko said the last sentence softly, almost to herself. She looked over to her kirin in his soiled clothing and his shirei by his side.

"Kaikou, Hyouki," she summoned.

"_At your command, Kei-Ou sama_," they responded.

"Please escort the Taiho to the palace immediately. He needs a change of clothes, a nice hot bath and plenty of bed rest."

"As you command," they responded. Keiki gave her a grateful, if not part baffled and part worried look, and headed back towards the palace first.

000

Youko watched as the steam rose up from the surface of her giant bath and hovered in the air in wisps and puffs of white. The flower petals her handmaidens had sprinkled in with various bath salts and perfumed oils drifted lazily in all directions, some in slow circles, meeting and touching, and then parting again as Youko moved.

She knew that she would smell like a perfumed rose when she emerged but there was nothing she could do about it. Asking for a bath was not a simple task here, especially when the servants clucked their tongues and shook their heads in disbelief when their Queen returned to them with leaves and twigs in her hair and bruises all over. She was a wild one, this Queen of theirs, but they continued their efforts to turn her more into a lady day by day. They decided to hide all of Youko's commoner clothing for a while, to dissuade her from going outside.

This was fine with her. Youko was in no hurry to venture outside again. She just wanted to rest and sleep. For now, these were the only two goals in her life. A far, distant third was to get to the stack of documents the Taishi had brought to her desk earlier that evening waiting for her signature.

Youko groaned inwardly and sunk down deeper into the hot bath water until her nose hovered just above the water level. In the end, she had always known that she could not forsake her kingdom here, her friends or her _baka_ kirin. _Still,_ she thought to herself. _It was nice to have a choice_. As she watched the small droplets of water drip from her wet hair and disturb the smooth glassy surface of the water, her thoughts inadvertently flowed towards her mother. However imperfect her parents had been in Hourai, she knew she would miss them and silently wished them well as there was nothing that she as a daughter could do for them now.

Perhaps she would try to locate the parents who had tied a ribbon on the branch of a riboku tree and prayed for her birth here in Kei. Youko had always been curious and wondered how long it would take if she actually tried to find them. She smiled sadly and wondered if they were still alive.

Youko leaned back and stretched out, wading in the water. Her spray of red hair floated out and up around her face. The bath was more like a small pool, but it wasn't long enough for the backstroke. She looked up and stared blankly at the decorative wood paneled ceiling with her royal emblem emblazoned on each square foot.

She couldn't help but play out the conversation she had with the Creator of the world in her head over and over. Even he was eager to see what kind of kingdom she would create in Kei.

"I guess I can't let _Him_ down now," she said with a smile. _Still_, she thought. _I should have asked him for a _case_ of cream soda to take back with me._ Youko couldn't help but laugh aloud at the ridiculousness of such a request. Sure enough, her one bottle of cream soda had made it back to Kimpa safely in her saddlebag and was presently displayed by the servants on an elegant three-legged table in her bedchamber. It was her parting gift from Tentei, like a door prize. Her laughter bounced along the surface of the water and against the marble floors and stone walls throughout the bath chamber. She laughed until tears came out of the corner of her eyes.

"Shu-jou," said Keiki's voice from behind the large painted screen at the entrance. "Are you all right?"

"I'm all right," was the response he heard from inside the bath, stifling her laughter. Keiki sighed and continued his vigilant guard of the bath entrance until she decided to come out. He had wanted to ask her what had happened and how they had come to be back in Kei when the last he could remember, he had lost consciousness and they were soaking in the cold rain in Hourai. But when he came to the inner palace to see her, the servants said the first thing the Queen requested was a bath, which was odd for her, and she immediately sequestered herself. Her sudden outburst of laughter shattered the silence and was slightly alarming to him at first. But as he sat on the cushioned bench on the other side of the screen, the sound had also brought him great comfort. It was like music to him when his Queen laughed in such an unrestrained fashion.

The second reason he wanted to see her was to remind her to sign the documents the Taishi had left earlier on her table. But after further consideration, he decided to forego the request all together and let her do it when she was ready.

In silence and with a genuine smile on his lips, he patiently waited for her to emerge. In truth, he really just wanted to see her again before he retired for the night, to make sure she was all right.

* * *

Comments: Please R&R. Like or not, this is the end. Hate it, or love it, your choice. I'm just happy I can move on with my life now… I tried not to tie up the loose ends too quickly, but alas, I didn't know what to do with Shoukou—he was more a catalyst than an actual character in my story. (Kouya seems to have made it out okay without being completely out of character or mutilated by my literary and artistic license.)

Originally, I thought perhaps Youko and Taiki should meet briefly, obviously an interlude prior to the novel where she actually helps retrieve him from Hourai. But since Tentei unintentionally appeared on the page, I thought he and Youko should have a discussion about what it meant to be offered a choice.

Tentei reminds me of the uncle in Avatar.

BTW You can stop here if you'd like, since this is where the main story ends. (The rest is just mindless fluff—b/c I can.) Until next time! –Kero (1/19/07)


	12. Epilogue: The Banquet

**Epilogue**

_tatta hitotsu no kokoro kanashimi ni kurenaide  
kimi no tameiki nante harukaze ni kaete yaru  
hi no ataru sakamichi o jitensha de kakenoboru  
kimi to nakushita omoide nosete yuku yo_

(Don't let your only heart become darkened by sadness  
I'll change your sighs into the spring breeze  
I ride my bike fast up the sunny hill  
Carrying the memories I forgot with you)

_LALALALALA kuchizusamu kuchibiru o somete yuku  
kimi to mitsuketa shiawase hana no you ni_

(Lalalalala, I hum, staining my lips  
The happiness I've found with you is like a flower)

--- Kaze ni Naru; ED theme of **The Cat Returns**; Vocals, Composition, & Lyrics By Tsuji Ayano

* * *

"Ah, Shoukei! The rice pot! The rice!" cried out Suzu in alarm. Her assistant looked down from her starry reverie of when she lived in Hou and servants cooked and served sweet rice dumplings to her by the platter and let out a little shriek. Shoukei immediately took a nearby cloth and removed the overflowing rice pot from the hot fire. She nearly burned her thumb and hissed at the sting as she put her fingers and pinched an unadorned ear lobe.

"This is why we shouldn't let an ex-princess cook," sighed Rakushun, shaking his head sadly. Shokei made like she was going to strike him over the head with the rice ladle. Her Majesty intervened just in time, placing herself between the wooden ladle and her friend's head.

"Now now, Rakushun. Why don't you go outside and entertain Shoryuu and Rokuta? Try to make sure that they don't decide on another drinking game for entertainment, okay?" smiled Youko. "We don't want a repeat of what happened back at his palace."

"I couldn't take another one of those," complained Suzu woefully as she removed the mixed vegetables and greens sautéed in minced garlic and oil from the wok. As Rakushun moved to leave the kitchen, Shoukei grumbled a comment about his getting his fur everywhere anyhow and the mouse turned around to retaliate.

"Now, now," said Youko with a nervous laugh and ushered her friend back outside.

"Youko-chan, can you make sure that the tofu is chopped and dipped into the frying batter?" asked Suzu, as she drained the noodles from a large, steaming pot. Youko looked around and found a nice long knife that would do the trick. She concentrated and held an open palm out at arms length and gripped the knife in the other hand, ready to strike at her new opponent. She could feel Jouyuu tensing inside of her.

The Queen took a deep breath and with a forced "Ha!" releasing her _chi_, she made her move against her pale, helpless opponent. The slab of soft tofu was sliced and diced expertly, vertically and horizontally, into many perfect cubes, exactly two inches thick. Her friends gawked and nearly dropped what they were doing as they watched in part awe and part shock. They clapped in unison at her stellar performance. Youko put the knife down and laughed shyly. She turned and saw that Keiki was staring wide-eyed at her from the doorway.

"Shu-jou, I would appreciate it if you'd refrain from being so violent towards your food," he admonished. Her friends hid smiles behind their sleeves. Youko set aside a smaller portion on a small, decorative plate, and seasoned it with soy sauce and chopped green onions on the side. She handed it to Keiki, who looked at it dubiously.

"I know you don't like fried tofu, so this is yours," said Youko.

"I don't know if I can eat tofu that's been so horribly assaulted," he said solemnly with a completely straight face. The Queen rolled her eyes in exasperation and ushered him out of the kitchen.

"Where do you want this plate of crab cakes?" asked Shokei, who had expertly garnished the plate with radish skins, steamed crab legs, parsley and coiled green onion stems to make the food resemble a whole crab again.

"Do you think the kirin will be offended?" asked Suzu.

"It's one of the only non-vegetable dishes being served tonight that isn't a derivation of tofu," smiled Youko. "I'm sure Keiki and Rokuta will appreciate our non-use of any serious animal products for this meal. What's important is that you were able to make my soba noodles." The three of them laughed and brought the dishes out to their guests.

"Alas, ladies," said Shoryuu eyeing the food. "How can I bear to be served by an immortal, a princess and a queen all at once?" He, Rokuta, Rakushun and Keiki all stood up from their seat at the table as the ladies approached. On this starry spring night, the group had decided to eat outside in a ring of tall torch lamps in the royal gardens of Kimpa Palace.

"You're bearing it quite admirably, I'd say," rebuked Rokuta, rolling his eyes at his king. His lord and master elbowed him gently in the ribs.

The group lay out the dishes on the round stone table, going through the ritual of passing the salt, soy sauce and hot sauce around accordingly. There was a large plate of greens, mostly for the kirin, that was lightly salted and seasoned with minced garlic. The large plate of fried and battered crab cakes prepared by both Youko and Shoukei was accompanied by a plate of fried and battered tofu prepared by Suzu. The four natives of Hourai were each given a bowl of cold soba noodles with the regular accoutrements of thinly sliced and picked radish, sliced hard-boiled eggs and fried fish balls, also prepared by Suzu. The last item on the menu was a thick, spicy eggplant dish that Shoukei had made, mostly for herself. A bowl of rice, a cup of green tea and miso soup was served at each place setting.

"_Itadakimasu_!" said Rokuta, Shoryuu, Suzu and Youko gleefully raising their chopsticks, and they all began to eat.

"So, Youko, I hear that you had a bit of trouble a little while back with a wayward goddess?" asked Shoryuu, nonchalantly, poking at a crab cake with one end of a chopstick. Youko eyed Rakushun, the likely culprit who spread the news, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly in response.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," she smiled, slurping up her noodles like an old pro, much to her kirin's chagrin.

"Yeah, right," said Suzu, refilling her bowl of miso. "She fell off a cliff and lost her memory. We thought she was a goner for sure." Shoukei stifled her laughter.

"What?!" asked Rakushun, pounding his furry chest as he nearly choked on his crab cake and gasped to wash it down with green tea. The Queen shot a withering glance in Suzu's direction, who suddenly lost the use of her tongue.

"She even allied herself with Kenrou Shinkun Sama," added Shoukei cheerfully. "I daresay Kei Kokku is making some powerful allies. He even asked her out to tea."

"Did he now?" asked Keiki, shooting an inscrutable look towards his Queen.

"Really?" asked Shoryuu, raising his eyebrow with a look that Youko knew was leading his thoughts into some gutter or another. She rolled her eyes and let out another exasperated sigh.

"I thought you were going to ban sighing in your next proclamation?" asked Rokuta with a mouthful of soba noodles. Suzu and Shokei laughed.

"Her journey into Ten-Mon is going to be archived in my first historical account," added Rakushun on a side note. "Chapter Three of the Histories of Sekishi, in the Era of Seki-Raku; The Queen's Battle Before Ten-Mon," he said, sweeping his arm out in dramatic gesture. Youko put a hand to her forehead, sensing the onset of a fabricated headache that would require her to retire for the night and excuse herself from further embarrassment.

"Say, Keiki. What was on the other side of Ten-Mon, anyway?" asked Rokuta before he took a grip of vegetables into his mouth with a gulp of green tea.

"Hourai," responded Keiki.

"Seriously?" asked Shoryuu, at the same time accompanied by a muffled garble that resembled the word, "Seriously?" from his kirin who had not yet finished chewing.

"No," Suzu chimed in her matter-of-fact tone. "According to the legends back in Sai it's just some blinding light that just forces you out if it isn't your time to cross. Only dead souls can pass through there."

"But people also say that Tentei resides on the other side of the Gate. That's what they say in Hou. Isn't that how the legend in Kei goes, Youko?" asked Shoukei.

"He told me not to say anything," grumbled Youko reaching for another crab cake. She suddenly caught herself and used both sleeved hands to cover her mouth. The Queen's posture was now straight in her chair, looking around nervously. All of her friends were gaping at her now, including her kirin.

"_He_…," trailed Shoukei.

"_Tentei_…" breathed Keiki.

"…_told _you," continued Suzu.

"…_not to say_?" asked Rakushun, eyes wide as saucers—even for a giant mouse. The table was suddenly eerily silent. Youko laughed nervously.

Shoryuu only grinned wider. "My friends, let's say we have another drinking game tonight, eh? I bet we could get the Queen to spill the details."

"I second," said Rokuta, raising his hand.

"I'm in," said Rakushun seriously.

"Here, here," laughed Shokei and Suzu together. The Queen wilted under their scrutiny and shot pleading glances towards her kirin. He merely shrugged his shoulders and rested his chin in his hand with a faint grin on one side of his face, implying that the situation was out of his hands.

000

Deep in the inner palace, in a small side room that the Queen used to think and be alone in silence, surrounded by artifacts from Hourai and various musical instruments, sat a lone bottle of vanilla soda on a small table. Next to it was an easel with a painting of a red-headed girl surveying the landscape spreading out beyond her feet, standing with all her friends beside her.

_Finis._


End file.
